Tonight is New Year's Eve, for most of the world.
Most countries use the Gregorian Calendar, switched from the Roman Julian Calendar (first introduced by Julius Caesar in 46BC).
This night is about the passing on of the old year, and the celebration and b'ringing' in of the new. You can read about the calendar in surprising detail here at wikipedia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julian_calendar#From_Julian_to_Gregorian
In my world, it is the changing of the calendar year, and in the wee hours of this morning, marked by the changing of the ancestral guard.
These past few months have been a highly significant time for me, and this passage has been marked by emotional upheaval, and (unasked for) deep processing work. The story will not be recounted here today...it is still clearing itself from the ethers, disentangling itself from the stranglehold it had on my soul life and that of my lineage. I'm glad to be through with the recognition and bringing forth of it, truthfully. It's time to give it a rest, to let it detach, to reintegrate my heart and my soul with the Earth.
I will share what I learned today. That deep emotional work can leave you very ungrounded. With chaotic, racing thoughts. A disorganized, vulnerable mess. Even with help, I sometimes forget to put in place the things necessary for an easy transition back to the physical world. Things I always think I should know by now.
I'm thankful for the help of two very good friends, RhiONA and Siobhan, for keeping me sane the past few weeks. One a flame-keeper of the Goddess Brighid, who so lovingly assisted in opening the decidedly Irish gateway to my ancestral story. The other, my very astute mentor and teacher who said immediately, "You're not grounded, Alyce." She reminded me to breathe. First into the belly, then down into my feet. "Reconnect with Mother Earth, and your inner child. She's frantic right now." Well, of course she was, but I'd only just recognized it at that moment.
I used two homeopathic remedies, one for grief, and one for trauma. I used the Bach Flower Essence 'rescue remedy'. I went for a walk. I sat by my tree. Wrapped myself around it, actually, likely to the delight of my neighbors. I felt much better in a very short time.
What did I learn? That no matter how wise, how deep, how educated or prepared you might be, in the thick of the emotional work...you forget. And no matter how much you might want to process through the mind, it's not possible. We can only process emotional and spiritual work through the physical body.
We are not spirits, we are human. We can only reach our potential for enlightenment if we are fully embodied. We can clear our thoughts, and allow for mindfulness, but the mind can lie. It can be ruled and controlled by the ego. The body doesn't lie. It supports the will of spirit; it's primary job. That and keeping you upright. {smile}
Preparation for me next time will consist of all the things I needed today being lined up in front of me, or in my purse, with a list of reminders. Simple things like...don't forget to breathe!!!
Locating and clearing an ancestral story is no joke. It is always good if all of the parties are on board, which in my experience, doesn't always happen the way you'd like it to. Each person acts out a part, sometimes very unconsciously, and very painfully. You may become nearly paralyzed with fear before you begin your journey. None of this matters. You either do the work, or you let it move past you to the next generation of souls. The story will always come up to be cleared. It is entirely up to you how you decide to deal with the call when it comes.
I chose to move through the fear, call in the spirits, and do the 'Work' today. On other days, I might not have been as strong. But today, I decided that this was the last day this particular story was going to 'run' my life. So, it opened for me. I sat with my ancestor, and we cleared together a burden of abuse and trauma that had affected every generation of my lineage for the past 1400 years. Not that time is linear, but we do tend to think of it that way since time is a very human construct.
I've fully accepted the judgment of 'witch'. That's what they used to call women who were strongly infused with the energy of the Goddess. In order to move past it, you must embrace it.
I'm grateful today for the people in my life who embody love, wisdom, faith, trust, hope and compassion. I'm also grateful to those who have had to embody the less desirable qualities of emotional coldness, mental cruelty, being mind-centered rather than heart-centered, meanness, being rooted in the self rather than the Self.
I'm just glad to be here. To be clear.
I pulled a card from the Full Moon Tarot tonight to mark the passage of what I'd learned today. I was happy to see the Dalai Lama smiling back at me as the King Of Water...
Compassion
Before a tranquil sea at sunset, a wise teacher stands, his face serene, infinite understanding and compassion in his humor-filled eyes. Above his head floats a water lily, symbol of purity and serenity. He radiates calm and compassionate love, while his crossed arms show self-containment and discipline of the emotions. Awareness, control and peace are at his command, while his love and compassion are as deep as the dark sea. Let your heart open, says the King of Water... but do not let your emotions drown you. The way of wisdom is detachment...
I wish each and every one of you a Blessed, Joyful, Peaceful New Year!
Blessed Be!!!
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