Womb-time memory

'New Hope'- Barry Mack 48x72


Blood, bright red and shiny.
Today the pain is much less, she thought.
Better this time not to be hunched over,
waiting for something to move.
Better than a time long ago,
when she felt moved, and there was no trace.
Nothing but a faint memory, and a whiff of anaesthetic.
An ultra-sound picture,
taken by a well-meaning nurse and mother.
"Don't you want to see?" she asked, puzzled.
There was no pain then. Only numbness.

She grieves a past that never was,
and weeps for a future that will never be.

She thought she'd made peace with herself.
Until the long view came into sharper focus;
the lost highway of baby clothes and little girl dresses,
dimmed with the passing years.

And yet her womb is producing something.
How many are they?
How many growing in there,
feeding on shame, and self-esteem...
robbing creativity?
Something read, and remembered from Buddhist query:
If every living thing is an entity of the Mystic Law,
can she chant that these small,
dark growths evolve and support life,
instead of draining it?
Tiny bloodsuckers, drawing energy into the vortex.
What can ever come of that?

Blood.
Bright red and shiny.
Sacrificed to the earth.
Surrendered in love.
Each small thing released, and named.
One for each love she's ever had.
Some never embraced or admitted to.
So many tears shed, a deepening stillness spread within,
and all around.
Perhaps now her womb can be whole, and healed.

The Nature of Sacrifice

'Being'- Barry Mack

Repost from Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Nearly 3 years ago, prior to Hurricane Katrina, I began to receive messages, instruction, dream 'transmissions' regarding the nature of energy. How it is contained within nature. How it is transmitted. How it can be harvested, stored and accessed; utilized for protection, and for healing.

And about the nature of sacrifice.

At first these things seemed unrelated. And even though I was 'shown' how the act of sacrifice affected particular energy lines (literal and figurative), I was still not clear exactly what was considered a 'sacrifice'. Or that I wanted to know. Why was I being shown this?

The very word itself made me uncomfortable. I began to understand that it was the definition associated with the word that left me with this confused emotional discomfort.

This is taken directly from the Britannica Ready Reference:

sacrificen [ME, fr. OF, fr. L sacrificium, fr. sacr-, sacer + facere to make--more at do] (13c) 1: an act of offering to a deity something precious; esp: the killing of a victim on an altar 2: something offered in sacrifice 3 a: destruction or surrender ofsomething for the sake of something else b: something given up or lost. sacrifice vb -ficed ; -fic.ing vt (14c) 1: to offer as a sacrifice 2: to suffer loss of, give up, renounce, injure, or destroy esp. for an ideal, belief, or end 3: to sell at a loss ~ vi 1: to make or perform the rites of a sacrifice.

This didn't really engender much comfort or trust in my 'dreamtime' instruction. Suffering, loss, renunciation, offering to a deity. It seemed so last millennium. I thought about the story of Jesus. About terrorist attacks. How religious and political extremists believed they, too, were making a sacrifice, twisted and illogical though it might be to us. And about how this is usually done in the name of a deity. Not exactly something I wanted to look at.

Then I began to understand a bit more. I learned that the definition associated with a word was similar to an energy being placed on or associated with a symbol. That the word or symbol can evoke (or invoke) a particular energy, but it can also accumulate energy that becomes connected to it that has nothing at all to do with the origin or creation intent. It can become covered over with an energy that warps and obscures the very word/symbol itself.

I've been opened to learning over these past few years that the original idea and nature of sacrifice is intrinsically connected to love. Not as far from the idea of the resurrection story of the Christ as one might think, but before the myth itself was appropriated. Used by multiple religions in a quest for 'owning' the ultimate Truth about sacrifice. To be able to dictate how one should behave in order to be Christ-like. This in and of itself helped to obfuscate the meaning of the word. Through this knowledge, I realized that without the energy of love, true sacrifice is not possible.

And that was about it, until about two weeks ago. I'd been personally working with the elemental nature of fire, and it's transmutational properties. I received another message in the time between waking and sleep. I saw the word sacrifice spelled out in front of my closed eyes. And then it moved and shifted. The letters began to rearrange themselves... sacr..sacre..fire..care. Then it looked like this: sacred caring.

So simple, really, to take so long to understand fully. Sacrifice is not a thing, not a mental construct, not even an energy. It is the very intent that creates the energy. And behind that intent is love. This is where the idea comes from about sacrifice and miraculous healing. Lifting up a prayer, or raising your voice with open-hearted love in a state of complete selflessness allows one access to the Divine energy within and without. And moving out of the way allows this energy to manifest as ultimate healing. As Oneness.

I finally understood. I was being instructed to 'take back' the very word 'sacrifice'. Not as a noun, but as a verb. The original creation intent that has been lost within our culturally narrow definition.

So here is the recently defined version as I understand it at the present moment:

Sacrifice:
sacrificen [ME, fr. OF, fr. L sacrificium, fr. sacr-, sacer + facere to make--more at do] 1) To make holy, or sacred through an act of pure love. Sacred caring [the act and intent of] 2) in healing: the holding of a sacred space, a contained and witnessing presence within which a person might offer up something one is holding [something precious] in exchange for receiving the light of love and understanding.

I send this out into the ethers with love, light and many blessings.