The Art and Practice of Compassion

For me, it always arrives with the dawn.
Awakening. Clarity. Inspiration. Knowing.
Synthesis and integration.

This morning, and for the last several days, it comes every day. That hasn't happened before. That's new. Just like I feel right now.

Not that I'm new. I'm exactly who I always was. It's my perception of self that has shifted. My feelings about who that person is that is 'me'. And all the parts; the deep stillness of my soul, the love in my awakened heart, the gunk in my belly, the delicate violet energy of my vibrational matrix, the tears that flow from the eyes that see too much, the mouth that often speaks too quickly and the mind that can sometimes be too harsh and judgmental.

I am all of these things, and have been very attached to them, holding them in a negative view for far too long. I've realized that until I truly accepted my own energy, my own path, my own belief and attachments, that there was no hope of ever letting any of it 'go'.

To believe that all of this has happened since Sunday seems a little far fetched. Maybe I should say the integration and understanding has come each day. A gift from each new morning that is allowing the reality of my truth to emerge, and for wisdom to arise within it.

I'm rambling, I know. Maybe I should backtrack to Sunday, and my experience with the GrandMother Drum. The drum itself awakened something in me, and my meeting with Tymoreye
http://www.tymoreyeelliot.com/ allowed me to not only see myself in a new light, but to view my light from the outside. I saw through her spirit what I looked like as a being of light energy. Levels of clarity and density. She spoke to me of things that I'd always known, but couldn't quite wrap my mind around before.

She had the clearest energy of anyone I'd ever met. High, clear and grounded from traveling with that drum for so long. Her gift allowed me to not only remember who I was, where I'd come from and who my spiritual family was, but to experience it in a way that was undeniable and true. I saw myself as a truly beautiful soul.

So what I've learned is that all of my trying to let go of things was premature. How can you let go of something you never fully embraced? Not accepting and embracing who I am was the only thing preventing me from releasing the ego. The attachment. Not that I didn't have an awareness of it, just that I was never able to synthesize the wisdom from that knowledge. Seems so simple now.

To let go of 'attachment', first you must feel. Swim in the muck and mire, the beauty and density of who we are in this world. Embracing who you are, and who you seem to be allows the freedom to be fully present in the moment. The only place there is stillness, awareness, joy.

Each morning, I receive wisdom now. Clearly and as an offering. I'm being taught to do healing work on a level I'd never thought was possible before. I'm excited and know there is much to learn. I feel that my energetic focus has shifted, from awareness towards integration. Each day, I let myself be where I am, and allow whatever arises to become fully present within my body and soul. Whatever doesn't serve can then fall away naturally, and with little effort. I've given up the need to struggle against myself or my nature any longer.

I'm finally learning how to be truly compassionate.

Remember, you cannot abandon
what you do not know.
To go beyond yourself, you must
know yourself.
--Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj