R.I.P. FHM

I raise a glass in remembrance now to someone very dear to me; a wonderful lover, teacher, writer, actor, friend, confident, secret-whisperer, laugh-sharer, rebel, edge-walker, lightening-bringer, boundary-pusher, heart-opener, gasping, breathing, sighing and fully alive human being. Thank you for being present in my life. Thank you for loving me.

I'm here to tell you how much I loved him and how he changed my world for the better. I LOVED him. I can feel the tug of it now; I adored him. He had a particular energy signature that was all his own. Women everywhere could 'feel' it. I was certainly not alone in my experience. But there was a part of him that was just 'mine'. I knew that as well as I knew my own name. He was anam cara.

He was at turns vulnerable and powerful. He was tender and fierce. He was silly and profound. He was awkward and entirely made up of love. Tall and daunting. Close and forgiving. He was everything to me.

Through unforeseen circumstances he was lost to me. At least in a tangible, ordinary existence way. But his spirit exists somewhere, and the power of it created a hell of storm here in the Northeast tonight. A perfect way to say goodbye after 5 years.

So with a Guinness in one hand, and a whisky in the other, I wish you deep peace wherever you are now. Thank you for bringing through such beauty and power. Thank you for your teachings. Thank you for your sacred caring.

I love you, FM.