A Walker Between Worlds

2012-01-28T20:19:00.003-05:00

photo-- Dana Levy-Wendt

When you are crying, cry.
When you are flailing, flail.
When you are lost, sit and be still.
When you are in a tempest, let go.
Don't let anyone tell you how; you already know.

You can only be where you are.
So be there,
In the best way you know how.
That is enough, for now.

There will be a candle lit,
for when you find your way home.

Medicine for the Heart

2012-01-23T13:29:00.010-05:00

Mexican spiritual heart with angel wings © Miroslaw Oslizlo

The heart in its wisdom

leads us;

At times with a gentle nudge

or with a bit and reins.

Nothing you've done

has led to this.

This isn't about the 'you' that does.

It's about the 'you' that IS.

No one is always happy.

Look at the false smiles

and desperate busyness

all around you.

So many others,

forlorn of simple kindness

and attention; "SEE ME!"

They hide the lie

even from themselves.

Medicine for the heart

can wear a thousand faces.

The heart of stone and water

knows this truth,

in its cold, still deep.

The heart of fire and wind

knows this,

whipped into frenzy

at the merest touch.

The heart within you

knows this, as well

and wishes to share a secret--

There is a gift to being contented

with one's life...

even with hell outside

the door,

and a raging storm within.

Your heart,

an ever-shifting cauldron

of movement and yearning,

calls you home

in every moment.

If only you will be still, and listen.

Can you hear the fluttering of its wings?

A message from the elements and the season of the Crone

2011-10-30T11:05:00.003-04:00

It occurred to me today that in an age of reason we have scrubbed passion from our seasons. Particularly the Spring and Fall. In the seasons where a blowing wind is likely to redden cheeks, and the trees themselves are vying for our notice with new budding leaves, berries and flowers, or brilliant colors that remind us that even death has great beauty, we seem to only wish for mild temps and pleasant, sunny skies, without exception. We have forgotten that beauty also has passion and depth, a creative purpose that can rage until sated.

Maybe this comes to me as inspiration because I adore Autumn. Maybe because I, who rarely ever complains of any weather event, suffered my own great lack of appreciation for what I termed an "unseasonable" snow storm. It cancelled Halloween events, and my last client of the day. It forced me to drive with extreme caution, and most of all, to slow down. No gratitude on my part for all that nasty weather. No way.

And yet yesterday as I worked, I watched the gorgeous giant flakes be driven nearly sideways by a fierce wind, and listened intently (after my music mysteriously quite working) to the pelting of sleet on the tin roof and windows. As I was walking into the house hours later, the wind whipped through the trees a few doors away, and shook snow from it as if the Cailleach (kal-yuk) herself were waking from a long slumber.

And I took it in. I felt it all move through me, this unusual storm; cleansing, passionate, fierce and full of trickster energy. It was sticking it's tongue out at us, and wiggling fingers in non-existent ears saying, "See? You don't control me. If I want to rage and tear down limbs, hurl snow, sleet and rain to force you to SEE and notice, to slow down and pay attention, then I will do as I please. This is my time to create or tear down as is needed, though you may have forgotten."

Yesterday's storm here in the middle of the NE coast was nothing if not filled with passion and raw, primal power. Something already very present within seasons not everyone in the US is lucky enough to experience. We have 4 full seasons, though many of us in this area spend lots of time complaining we don't 'like' the weather during at least 2 of them.

With this storm, we were presented with a passionate yet icy expression of the Feminine crone energy; fierce, beautiful, intense. Just like her to strip away the illusion of control, and to make everyone aware of the areas of their lives where they fail to honor time, nature, loved ones-- the things in our life that are truly important.

Reasoning away passion is something it seems we've grown far to used to in our world. Not just within the seasonal expressions of nature, but within our relationships with others. We even do it within the many spiritual containers, as if stillness and peace could exist in a never-ending stream, without movement, intensity, passion and growth. Why is that? Who sees peace as truth, and yet denies the value of the more difficult states this arises from?

We adore speaking of love, and yet deny it's full expression; thinking somehow that if we control conditions, everything will remain pleasant, sunny and 75 degrees. I think we may well see the fallacy of this, and yet we also wish to deny the passionate expression of love in it's full, raging beauty. Rage can rip the veils from our eyes, as it contains a huge amount of power and life force. It is when that rage is misdirected to hurt others, or we have memories we are personally tied to of people using rage to gain power over us that we balk. But we all contain this power, life force, raging beauty, blinding intention, fierce love. What would be amazing would be to begin honoring it and allowing it some compassionate expression, rather than suppression and minimizing how this looks and feels when our own discomfort gets in the way.

This is the lesson of the Cailleach/Crone Mother of Autumn-- being present to death requires both great passion, compassion and fierce love. Rage and fury. Careful expression and gifting of what no longer serves us, so that it may gift what passes, and we may be empty to receive renewed life and warmth enough to bring us through the Winter-- not simply to dream, but to celebrate our lives.

In this season of Autumn wind, fierce storms, leaves of blinding beauty and the passion of one moving towards finality, let us all remember what it is we may fail to honor; life and impermanence. Death and rebirth. This is a time of allowing things to reach their final conclusion, and to let go with grace. Also a time to understand that offered up within the face of blinding intensity is our gift, and it is that very energy used to weave the next threads within the tapestry of our ever-changing lives.

Samhain Blessings to All, Love, Passion and Great Turning,

Alyce

True Seeing

2011-08-23T09:18:00.002-04:00

All mirrors are clear.

If there is darkness or a lack of clarity,
it is only the smoke in your own eyes
clouding your vision,
confusion blocking the inner light
from shining brightly.

The clouds that block
true seeing
are covering your heart,
not your eyes.

One may learn to see clearly,
with the inner eye,
by opening the heart to love
a little more deeply,
and completely.

~Reconnection teaching, 8.11.11

Happy Earth Day

2010-04-22T12:05:00.002-04:00

Honor the earth. Love the earth. We are not separate from her, we are the co-creators of what is.

As ever-becoming beings, our thoughts, words and deeds will be our love talk to the planet today.

Feel your feet on the soil, sit by a tree, put your hands into the dirt, drink clean water, and most of all, feel gratitude for the earth within your being.

Required Earth Day reading: http://www.alternet.org/story/146568/five_ways_you_can_help_save_life_on_earth

We bring ourselves to the Feast

2009-12-21T10:41:00.004-05:00

We can only ever bring to the world
what we were given...
be it fear, or love, or pain.

But until we soften our gaze and see through the eyes of honor;
open our heart and feel through devotion,
awaken our mind through consciousness and
learn to dwell in the wisdom pool of the soul,
it will only ever be someone else's offering.

There is no getting it "right",
there is only what you choose to bring.

We sit at the table of the Gods,
and we are the feast.

The Pregnant Void- A womb-time journey

2009-12-11T12:54:00.004-05:00

Prying open the Third Eye- Sunshine Miller

In my own life, I am trying to heal my womb, and this picture speaks deeply to me. I am exploring the different faces of the goddess each day in order to better understand and step into my own feminine power, rather than wielding my inner masculine power, which I was taught and mistakenly believed, was stronger. I grew up with a feminist mother whose own damaged mother crushed and repressed her feminine, so I had to learn from the beginning. And so began my healing journey to explore my matrilineal and ancestral wounding.

There tends to be, in our society, a distinct lack of understanding and appreciation of the principle energies of both sexes. I see both needing reverence rather than denigration. The honoring of the other is what I see missing in many relationships between the masculine and feminine (both within and without).

I believe that both men and women can become polarized due to our different understanding (or misunderstanding) of our own energies and a lack of acceptance of those that differ from our own truth and experience.

I see that religion and even many of the teachings of spirituality have been geared towards the masculine need for emptiness, which is not necessarily the best way for women to learn, because they come from and return to fullness. The void is not empty, but pregnant with possibility. I am learning this is in my quest for healing.

As my friend Michael Mantas put it, “I can see how [from the masculine perspective] it would be easy to believe that Nothingness is more valid that Somethingness (Womb).

For the Archetypal Masculine the Math of Spirituality is expressed as 0 + 0 = 0.

For the Archetypal Feminine the Math of Spirituality is expressed as 1 + 1 = 1.

One is rational, one is intuitive. But rational does not equal heartlessness, and intuition does not equal invalidity.”

As a result of my own explorations, and my own re-emerging feminine, I'm beginning a group of spiritual exploration and focus from the feminine perspective. It will begin as a women's group, but men who have come to a point of emptiness and wish to embrace their inner feminine might be included later, as well.

I don’t have an agenda other than calling forth and fully embracing our own divine feminine within. Exploring our feminine energy and gathering in support with a definite spiritual focus utilizing meditation, journeying and guided energetic practice techniques. This circle will begin meeting at my Doylestown office in late January or early February during the time of Imbolc or Brighid’s Day.

Because my own beliefs and healing work are earth based and influenced by lunar cycles, these will inform my facilitation. People of all faiths and belief systems are welcome. All I ask is that you come with an open mind, and an open heart.

Anyone interested can contact me by email at awalkerbtweenworlds@yahoo.com, fb message, or snail mail at Ascentuals 26 E. Swamp Rd Suite E, Doylestown PA 18901.

Thanksgiving- Feast Day of Forgiveness and Atonement

2009-11-26T22:38:00.004-05:00

I firmly believe that Thanksgiving is just another day. Perhaps it is just my decidedly irreverent mood today, or just that I don’t blindly believe in following any tradition just because everyone else does. Being that I open my heart to gratitude and give thanks each day in my prayers, I find it odd that we have only one particular day set out for gratitude, instead of all 365 days of the year.

Some of us celebrate abundance at the height of harvest (Lammas/Lughnasadh), some at the end of harvest before the first frost (Samhain/Halloween) and some before the coldness of winter settles over the land (Thanksgiving). All can be beautiful expressions depending on your intention and focus. I'm focusing on the ho'oponopono prayer today, since Thanksgiving is ‘traditionally’ a bogus holiday created by puritanical transplants who, in their quest for freedom from religious persecution, in turn helped to decimate an entire indigenous population.

I found this posted on a NPR thread the other day, and felt it resonate as truth:

"Thanksgiving should teach us all to be afraid. Although it's well known to anyone who wants to know, let me summarize the argument against Thanksgiving: European invaders exterminated nearly the entire indigenous population to create the United States. Without that holocaust, the United States as we know it would not exist. The United States celebrates a Thanksgiving Day holiday dominated not by atonement for that horrendous crime against humanity but by a falsified account of the "encounter" between Europeans and American Indians. When confronted with this, most people in the United States (outside of indigenous communities) ignore the history or attack those who make the argument. This is intellectually dishonest, politically irresponsible, and morally bankrupt."
--Robert Jensen
http://www.commondreams.org/view/2009/11/15-2

So, I agree that we should celebrate the Harvest time (which is part of Thanksgiving) and our ability to feed ourselves through the winter. Our gratitude may be acknowledged because, truly, only 'wealthy' people feast. For if there is not an abundance of food, and good will, there can be no feasting, or a full table. But somehow we should probably make it a point to include a forgiveness ceremony and offerings as part of this holiday on this land. I will be sure to do that, as I am native to this land now, and honor its spirits and inhabitants.

Here is a beautiful prayer based on the ho’oponopono tradition, recognizing that forgiveness of self and others is paramount to opening the heart, and the full experience of love and gratitude.

MORRNAH'S PRAYER (Hawaiian Shaman)

Divine creator, father, mother, son as one...If I, my family, relatives and ancestors have offended you, your family, relatives and ancestors in thoughts, words, deeds and actions from the beginning of our creation to the present, we ask your forgiveness...Let this cleanse, purify, release, cut all the negative memories, blocks, energies and vibrations, and transmute these unwanted energies into pure light....And it is done.

http://www.manifestourreality.com/blank.html

Dream Fragment – Re-awakening the Feminine Heart

2009-10-20T10:52:00.002-04:00

Heart of the small one, tortured…
broken open by grief, longing, yearning.
Tear-filled eyes, shining with pain.

“In service” answered the bright being,
Her eyes smiling kindly,
shining with the light of the stars.

The small one reaches out her hand to touch the light one.
“How can I live this way, with a wound that will not heal?”

“Grace is yours for the asking, bright one.
Accept what is, embrace yourself in all of your fullness.
Become one with your heart” answered the Mother.

“It is too difficult here, alone and without physical comfort.
I want to come home.”

She wavered in her lavender fullness, and revealed a rainbow heart, beating at the center of the world, in time with the small one.

“This is your heart center, and your heart is your home.
You carry your home inside, always.
The Presence is not outside, but within.
Your own divinity is soft, receptive; strong in vulnerability.
Loving…in both joy and pain.”

“Then where, bright one, can I find freedom in restriction, and stillness in chaos?”

“That is what you are feeling, child; The All of your Being.
The heart is movement- ever-shifting, conscious, active, loving.
The stillness you seek is illusion.
Only in acceptance and honoring does the pace slow enough
for you to perceive your connection to the totality.
And then, you are in Oneness.”

…and still the small self asked,
“And is there anything in that for me?”

Again, the Goddess smiled.

“Why, of course. It’s all for you, dear one.
When you open your heart,
the totality of All That Is opens.
That is the true liberation of spirit from form.”

Invoking the Cailleach

2009-10-01T05:34:00.004-04:00

A chill wind rustles the leaves of early autumn
and the girl slips out from behind the tall,
straight trunk of the retiring maple,
her gaze still watching the summer fade behind her.

It must have slipped past without her notice,
the shift more subtle than usual this year
despite the dreams and visions.

When did the burgeoning ripeness of the Mother
turn to the visage of the Crone?

How long has the Old One been standing
in the Northwest corner,
waiting for her to see?

The girl knows that the summer boy
has departed for good once again,
without a parting kiss,
no honoring of love shared,
or even a proper goodbye.

The tears of sorrow fall to the ground,
the unseen beings silently accept the offering.

The Ancient Mother is aware of all this,
the pain palpable as she watches
the bright red heart of the girl crack open.
This is the fertilizer for the seeds of the new
though the girl does not yet know.

The long eye of the Cailleach
glances simultaneously back to all that was,
and forward to all that might become.
The longing of the girl who awaits her release into death
has invoked her full power,
unknowable and full of destruction.

The Hag misses nothing,
noting the cowardly withdrawal
of the masculine.

The denial of love, a closing down, an easy conquest.
Where are the men who used to hold the space?
When as Badbh she wields her scythe of blind Justice,
this transgression will not be forgotten.
As the earth slowly releases the final bounty,
the cycle of her power grows.

With her left eye, she gazes forward
into the harsh wind of deep autumn,
and the soft dreamtime of Winter.

The Morrigan cracks a wide, forbidding smile,
relishing the tearing away of the old
creating a space for the tiny seeds of hope
to be planted in the now barren soil.

The Ancient Crone reaches out her arms, waiting.
Time to clear what no longer serves,
and welcome the girl
into the embrace of the twilight.

The Cailleach knows the Truth of this world;
All things must die.
And what she cannot teach through love,
will be learned through fear.

There is no difference save what we create.

Womb-time memory

2009-08-15T18:22:00.008-04:00

'New Hope'- Barry Mack 48x72

Blood, bright red and shiny.
Today the pain is much less, she thought.
Better this time not to be hunched over,
waiting for something to move.
Better than a time long ago,
when she felt moved, and there was no trace.
Nothing but a faint memory, and a whiff of anaesthetic.
An ultra-sound picture,
taken by a well-meaning nurse and mother.
"Don't you want to see?" she asked, puzzled.
There was no pain then. Only numbness.

She grieves a past that never was,
and weeps for a future that will never be.

She thought she'd made peace with herself.
Until the long view came into sharper focus;
the lost highway of baby clothes and little girl dresses,
dimmed with the passing years.

And yet her womb is producing something.
How many are they?
How many growing in there,
feeding on shame, and self-esteem...
robbing creativity?
Something read, and remembered from Buddhist query:
If every living thing is an entity of the Mystic Law,
can she chant that these small,
dark growths evolve and support life,
instead of draining it?
Tiny bloodsuckers, drawing energy into the vortex.
What can ever come of that?

Blood.
Bright red and shiny.
Sacrificed to the earth.
Surrendered in love.
Each small thing released, and named.
One for each love she's ever had.
Some never embraced or admitted to.
So many tears shed, a deepening stillness spread within,
and all around.
Perhaps now her womb can be whole, and healed.

The Nature of Sacrifice

2009-08-07T17:35:00.003-04:00

'Being'- Barry Mack

Repost from Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Nearly 3 years ago, prior to Hurricane Katrina, I began to receive messages, instruction, dream 'transmissions' regarding the nature of energy. How it is contained within nature. How it is transmitted. How it can be harvested, stored and accessed; utilized for protection, and for healing.

And about the nature of sacrifice.

At first these things seemed unrelated. And even though I was 'shown' how the act of sacrifice affected particular energy lines (literal and figurative), I was still not clear exactly what was considered a 'sacrifice'. Or that I wanted to know. Why was I being shown this?

The very word itself made me uncomfortable. I began to understand that it was the definition associated with the word that left me with this confused emotional discomfort.

This is taken directly from the Britannica Ready Reference:

sacrificen [ME, fr. OF, fr. L sacrificium, fr. sacr-, sacer + facere to make--more at do] (13c) 1: an act of offering to a deity something precious; esp: the killing of a victim on an altar 2: something offered in sacrifice 3 a: destruction or surrender ofsomething for the sake of something else b: something given up or lost. sacrifice vb -ficed ; -fic.ing vt (14c) 1: to offer as a sacrifice 2: to suffer loss of, give up, renounce, injure, or destroy esp. for an ideal, belief, or end 3: to sell at a loss ~ vi 1: to make or perform the rites of a sacrifice.

This didn't really engender much comfort or trust in my 'dreamtime' instruction. Suffering, loss, renunciation, offering to a deity. It seemed so last millennium. I thought about the story of Jesus. About terrorist attacks. How religious and political extremists believed they, too, were making a sacrifice, twisted and illogical though it might be to us. And about how this is usually done in the name of a deity. Not exactly something I wanted to look at.

Then I began to understand a bit more. I learned that the definition associated with a word was similar to an energy being placed on or associated with a symbol. That the word or symbol can evoke (or invoke) a particular energy, but it can also accumulate energy that becomes connected to it that has nothing at all to do with the origin or creation intent. It can become covered over with an energy that warps and obscures the very word/symbol itself.

I've been opened to learning over these past few years that the original idea and nature of sacrifice is intrinsically connected to love. Not as far from the idea of the resurrection story of the Christ as one might think, but before the myth itself was appropriated. Used by multiple religions in a quest for 'owning' the ultimate Truth about sacrifice. To be able to dictate how one should behave in order to be Christ-like. This in and of itself helped to obfuscate the meaning of the word. Through this knowledge, I realized that without the energy of love, true sacrifice is not possible.

And that was about it, until about two weeks ago. I'd been personally working with the elemental nature of fire, and it's transmutational properties. I received another message in the time between waking and sleep. I saw the word sacrifice spelled out in front of my closed eyes. And then it moved and shifted. The letters began to rearrange themselves... sacr..sacre..fire..care. Then it looked like this: sacred caring.

So simple, really, to take so long to understand fully. Sacrifice is not a thing, not a mental construct, not even an energy. It is the very intent that creates the energy. And behind that intent is love. This is where the idea comes from about sacrifice and miraculous healing. Lifting up a prayer, or raising your voice with open-hearted love in a state of complete selflessness allows one access to the Divine energy within and without. And moving out of the way allows this energy to manifest as ultimate healing. As Oneness.

I finally understood. I was being instructed to 'take back' the very word 'sacrifice'. Not as a noun, but as a verb. The original creation intent that has been lost within our culturally narrow definition.

So here is the recently defined version as I understand it at the present moment:

Sacrifice:
sacrificen [ME, fr. OF, fr. L sacrificium, fr. sacr-, sacer + facere to make--more at do] 1) To make holy, or sacred through an act of pure love. Sacred caring [the act and intent of] 2) in healing: the holding of a sacred space, a contained and witnessing presence within which a person might offer up something one is holding [something precious] in exchange for receiving the light of love and understanding.

I send this out into the ethers with love, light and many blessings.

R.I.P. FHM

2009-06-27T02:58:00.003-04:00

I raise a glass in remembrance now to someone very dear to me; a wonderful lover, teacher, writer, actor, friend, confident, secret-whisperer, laugh-sharer, rebel, edge-walker, lightening-bringer, boundary-pusher, heart-opener, gasping, breathing, sighing and fully alive human being. Thank you for being present in my life. Thank you for loving me.

I'm here to tell you how much I loved him and how he changed my world for the better. I LOVED him. I can feel the tug of it now; I adored him. He had a particular energy signature that was all his own. Women everywhere could 'feel' it. I was certainly not alone in my experience. But there was a part of him that was just 'mine'. I knew that as well as I knew my own name. He was anam cara.

He was at turns vulnerable and powerful. He was tender and fierce. He was silly and profound. He was awkward and entirely made up of love. Tall and daunting. Close and forgiving. He was everything to me.

Through unforeseen circumstances he was lost to me. At least in a tangible, ordinary existence way. But his spirit exists somewhere, and the power of it created a hell of storm here in the Northeast tonight. A perfect way to say goodbye after 5 years.

So with a Guinness in one hand, and a whisky in the other, I wish you deep peace wherever you are now. Thank you for bringing through such beauty and power. Thank you for your teachings. Thank you for your sacred caring.

I love you, FM.

The Vernal Equinox

2009-03-21T15:44:00.004-04:00

"Woman Ascending" - 48"x36"

The Vernal Equinox- The Sun crosses the equator and day and night everywhere on Earth are of equal length, with the Sun ascending here in the Northern hemisphere. Vernal means fresh and new, like the Spring. Equinox literally translates as "equal night". This year, the Sun entered into the sign of Aries on March 20 at 4:44am, marking the official beginning of the astrological New Year, and Spring.

It is a time of new emergence; life erupting from the trees and earth around us. And since we are the earth, this happens within us as we feel the clearing of the old grime of winter, the release of that which we no longer need to hold onto, and the rising of the light within.

A few years ago, I received a meditation from spirit. It is a nearly perfect exercise for Spring, assisting us in bringing in new energies while clearing room for it at the same time. It is also about honoring; yourself, the earth, and the light within.

A very talented artist and friend, Barry Mack, sent me the above photo of his "Woman Ascending" to mark the arrival of Spring in my world, and was kind enough to allow me to post it here with my meditation. You can see more of Barry's work here: http://architectsofanewdawn.ning.com/profile/BarryMack

Please receive this with my blessings.

Spring Meditation
***************************************************
Each morning at sunrise find a place in nature (a backyard, even a balcony would do) and face the direction of the rising sun in the East. It is connected to the emerald green ray of compassionate love and healing, calming, balancing and clearing, the heart chakra, and the Archangel Raphael. Briefly focus on something or someone in your life you are grateful for. Feel your heart-center opening to the warmth of the sun and the emerald green ray at your heart. Expand it until you are completely immersed in it. Open your heart to being present, fully present in that moment. Make a heart wish.

Each evening at sundown, take yourself outside and face the setting sun in the West. The West is associated with the Archangel Gabriel, the sea, and the ruby-red ray of the color spectrum that assists in physical healing, amplifying the kundalini energy and helping us to embrace responsibility for ourselves and our actions. Take a moment to focus on what needs to be released from your day (stress, anger, etc). Picture surrendering these energies (or relationships) that no longer serve you to this ruby-red light. Forgive judgment of yourself or others. Breathe in love and light, and picture expanding the ruby-red light to fully encompass you. Then visualize the emerald green light surrounding the ruby-red center in the heart area. Notice the shift as your heart center enfolds you in compassion and love. Know that you are whole and complete.

This exercise can be done each day until Bealtaine (May 1st), when you notice the ties that bind you have been released, and that your heart wish can be manifested fully and clearly.

Requiem- The Death of the Old Self

2009-03-21T15:29:00.005-04:00

So, this is how it ends. Corrupted. Bereft. Empty. Lonely. Feeling as if I’d only just paid more attention, that none of this had to happen. I’ve spent far too much of my life and time feeling this way. And it’s such a short life.

Usually when someone contemplates throwing in the towel, there is a maudlin self-pity present. I have to say, it doesn’t feel like that to me. I know there are people who care, who love me. Who will be sad if I leave this earth. But I am aware of something they may not be. They only need me for their own reasons. To validate them, to be present for them, to be their mirror. And this, I think is what it’s about for other people. Will they grieve? Certainly. But will they grieve for me…or for their own loss? This is the human nature I have come to understand, to accept, but not to love. In truth, I am the only one who can grieve this life, my life. But do I have the courage required to do so?

Can I grieve the life that was, and the life that never was, and still remain here…present? Can I release this, and learn to feel again? Or is it too late for that? I’m so tired already. And old, aeons old. Can I lift myself one more time from this ground I stand on, a brittle, barren surface, and walk just a few steps farther on this journey? Perhaps a spark of hope will light the way, for it is so dark here, now.

I’ve spent my entire life living for others, for a cause, an idea. Living in service. Being of service. It is what drives me, what inspires me. And it’s also the thing I hate the most at this moment. For how can I truly be of service if I can’t even help myself? How can I learn to love my life, when I feel no joy?

I have been here before, in this space. I have had the light of the Presence move through me. I have been more alive than many can imagine being. I have been everything. And now, I am nothing. Why did I choose to stay, if I am incapable of creating love within my own life; within myself?

Do I have the strength to accept what is here in the dark, empty expanse, and live on? Can I find the spark of inspiration necessary to build a new hearth fire from the barely flickering candle of my soul? I cannot do it alone. This much I know. I must pray, and be open to receiving the light of my own soul, as it comes to embrace me. And if I wake up here, then I will have a chance to feel and create something new. And if not, then I will be free. Liberated.

And as I fall to my knees and ask for forgiveness, Goddess, will you be so kind as to hold a space for me, until I can hold it for myself? I think that might be exactly what I need…

The Seeds of Wholeness

2009-03-08T19:33:00.007-04:00

I awoke today with a lead stone in my chest,
where my heart should be.
Heavy. Weighted down with grief, and anger.
Feeling wasted, barren.
Mind racing back to times gone by, and love lost.
Missing the beloved, separate from the other.
Separate even from myself.

Patterns of loss stamp themselves anew today;
deception, betrayal, jealousy, need, obsession.
The depth of emotion feels staggering to me.
There is nothing to be done but learn to be still now,
and not run to the next distraction.
Tears flow freely for myself, and then more.
Self-pity is unbecoming. Eyes red, swollen.
So tired. So tired of crying. So tired,
crying for a love destroyed before it could ever flower fully.
“Who?” You might ask.
“How many?” I would answer.

I have proven to myself that I was unlovable. Unworthy.
Over and over, the cycle repeated itself.
Deep, unrequited love.
Then I would hide behind a mask.
Which woman would I be today?
Which single-minded desire can I fulfill so that I can be loved, at least for a little while?
Eventually, it became a mask of independence and certainty, when I felt anything but.
I hid my vulnerability away, and the fear of not being seen truly became not being seen.
The prophecy became self-fulfilling.

Holding, and withholding became an instinctive,
protective way of being.
Fear of judgment and rejection drove away my ability to actively love, to be fully present to another being.
To receive the care of another being who was also like me.
Who is also God.

For I recognize myself in pain,
covered over with the grime of the past.
The questions “Does anyone truly see me?
Does anyone really care to see?” then became,
“When was the last time I allowed anyone to see?”

Then questions of divinity..
“Who am I if not God?”
“And if I am the female aspect, where is the masculine aspect to ignite the spark of my passion once again?”
“If I have recognized the light within, then why can I not see the divine within as complete?”

Memory surfaces, of my asking the mother,
“What is your dream for me?”
She was in the starlight, and she answered;
“The sacred flower of life- that is the dream for all my children. Speak the truth of your heart, and love.
Love, the verb. Love actively, without fear,
completely and passionately.”

Finally, emotion spent, comes understanding.
The stone in my chest, occupying my heart center
is like a pit... a giant seed.
And today, it cracked wide open,
spilling dry contents on the damp soil to be fertilized.
I surrender my dreams of union to the Earth,
and gift the mother with my sacrifice.
I water it with my tears, allowing the unseen beauty of my soul to radiate heat and light,
to nourish the tiny, fragile growth.
I turn over my sacred caring,
and will nurture the tender growth that arises.
I will allow the joy of wholeness to emerge.

MLK Remembered?

2009-01-19T13:29:00.005-05:00

Today, I learned something. My father was saddened to see that some of my neighbors had put out their trash, forgetting it was a holiday. He often pokes fun at them for doing that, but not this morning.

Instead, to my surprise, he seemed disgusted, angry, resigned. "Today" he said, "of all days to put the trash out". Then he shook his head. I asked him a wordless question, and he answered. "It just shows how ignorant of history Caucasians are. The last thing MLK Jr did before he was assassinated was to support the striking sanitation workers in Memphis TN. There isn't a trash collector on the planet that would be working today."

Wow. I hadn't realized that. He was right. We are ignorant. I was ignorant. I mean, I've learned about MLK Jr. I care deeply about social justice, and the right to non-violent protest. How come I'd never learned about what had happened immediately prior to his death? How the judge had just granted him the right to march, after working out an arrangement with local businesses that had filed suit against him after looting had broken out at the last rally for the sanitation workers. The city and local companies were against unionizing, and it was a big deal. Did I never learn about that? Or did I just forget?

One thing's for sure, it has made me realize that on a day of remembrance such as today, it is important to become more aware of the life of the person being memorialized. If a day has been set aside specifically to honor Martin Luther King Jr., then the least I can do is to spend a few minutes today to learn something about them that I wasn't aware of previously.

I found out about the strike today, and read more about it in the National Archives. Here is the page should you want to read about it for yourself. http://www.archives.gov/education/lessons/memphis-v-mlk/

In respectful memory of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

The Viral Rants- part 1

2009-01-16T07:42:00.002-05:00

They Ought to Have a License/Planning Permit For Becoming a Parent (they make you do it for your house).

Bad Parenting. We've all seen it. Most of us have experienced it. And no one wants to talk about it, not really. What I mean to say is, not in a real way.

Oh, sure. We all love to judge when it comes to other people's parenting skills, but what about when it comes to looking at our own parenting skills? Or just looking at ourselves in general, about anything? And why not?

Everything you do, and everything you are informs your skills in life, including as a parent. So to be your best, it seems only logical that some attempt be made to be clear about who you are, so that you can help your child to become who they are. This is not just about responsibility, but about 100% accountability for your choices and actions. No one else is making them for you. And no one but you and your partner chose to bring a child (or 2 or 3) into this world.

I 'get' that some parenting skills cannot be taught. One cannot truly teach love and compassion, discipline, honesty and courage without experiencing it for themselves, and about themselves. So isn't it high time we held ourselves up to the discriminatory light of truth, in order to better inform ourselves and our decisions?

I think it's time to get over ourselves and our fears of bringing this up for discussion. I can't tell you how tired I am of trying to talk about this and having people get offended. What are you so offended about? Do you really think you're the world's greatest mom or dad all the time? Of course not.

Our society is hanging by a thread. We are 'broke' and bankrupt in many ways, our current financial situation being only the outside mirror for our inner loss of value. The only way to change things is to first bring it to awareness. Families, overall, form our society. And we no longer have a choice but to really look at what we are doing. How we are raising the next generation. How we have, or have not finished raising ourselves.

Now, are you ready for the hard part? To hear the 'real' truth? Even if you are a stellar example of parenting, a good parent, you are not always a good parent. It's just not possible, though you do the best you can. You should be honored for your sheer desire to constantly be a good parent.

You, as a good parent, allow the flowering of energy, youth, joy, all while nurturing competently, and instilling a quiet, simple discipline that allows children to learn their world while having a strong boundary/container from which to do so. You spend time with your kids, and allow your world to open to include them, not create a separate world around them. You perhaps understand that your child grew out of the boundless love of your union with your partner that could no longer be contained, and needed to express itself in the bringing forth of another soul. You, my friend, are in the minority.

Then, there are the rest of us. Being that good parenting and bad parenting fall at polar opposites on the grand scale of parenting, it seems more than fair to say that most fall somewhere in between. And that means most of us. Including you.

Some people are just mediocre parents; not a great skill set to draw on, no ability to separate themselves and their issues from their children, and no desire or ability to improve their situation. Just too tired, depressed, stressed, bored and would rather withdrawal from the situation rather than look at it honestly and deal with it. These parents would rather watch TV and 'veg out' at the end of the night than even speak to each other. Although they would deny it, and don't realize it, they spend just as much time watching TV as they do parenting. How often is the TV on in your home?

Here's a newsflash- When you are watching TV, unless you are sitting and instructing your kids while watching PBS or another learning type channel, you are not parenting! In many cases, you are tuned out, and not even present in the room. This applies equally to talking on the phone, being on the computer, etc. There are many distractions, and multiple excuses. I don't want or need to know any of them. Neither do you. They are irrelevant. The fact is, you can and would be a better parent if you were able to be more present in your own life. Playing video games isn't going to do that for you. So turn it off, and pay attention. Ever keep track of exactly how many hours you aren't present to your kids, spouse, or yourself? I think it would knock you off your chair. So don't tell me you don't have the time, because that's bullshit.

Mediocre parents could benefit from meditation training, mind-body exercises such as yoga or tai chi, parenting classes (no matter what age your child is) and some counseling. Not just for the parents, but for the entire family unit. Make sure to plan some 'me' time each day. If you don't have enough, make arrangements to have more. If you give yourself what you need, and begin to honor your own time, you can better honor the time and space of others. And for others. Like your kids. So turn off the electronic devices for 2 hours per night. Make it a house rule. Place a moratorium on anything but being present for each other. Have a meal each day together, even if it has to be breakfast. But learn to be present. For the sake of yourself and your family.

Finally, there is the lower end of the scale. Some of you are miserable examples of parenting, trying to raise children when you've not even finished raising yourselves. Whatever possessed you to bring in multiple children, when you had a difficult time raising the first one, is beyond me. And who suffers for it? Everyone.

To be fair, most people are not aware that a second or third child not only brings with it it's own set of needs, but adds an entirely new family dynamic. Apparently, no one talks about this. I've seen more marriages fall apart after the second child is born than for any other reason. Bringing in one child requires a huge devotion of time and energy, and no less is required for the next one. Or the one after that. But honestly, we only have so much time. Are you really that good at juggling yours? From what I've witnessed, the answer is NO.

Bad parents say they put their kids first, before themselves, when this is not true. It's really never true, but they convince themselves, and their children that it is. They lie. They pretend they are good parents when they are not. They allow the computer, PSP or TV to babysit and inform their kids instead of taking the time to do it themselves. They put them on medication to control their behavior first (before trying any other solution) then leave them on said meds for years. They are irresponsible role models that take multiple drugs, don't care for themselves (smoking or drinking to excess, no exercise, no ownership of destructive patterns of behavior). They justify imposing their will on their children, doing things that crush their gentle, emerging spirits in ways they excuse as teaching discipline, but is really all about control.

Bad parents don't make enough of an effort to keep a marriage together that might save their children from grief and strife. They may not have the courage to end a bad marriage that does the same. They manipulate by guilt. They project harsh self-judgment, anger and abuse onto their kids, because they cannot or will not face themselves. And I believe I know why this happens...they have never owned their own needs or their very human level of self-centeredness.

So right now, I'm taking that word back:
self-centered- centered within the self.

It has an unnecessary negative attachment to it. Why? Because we are confused about it's meaning. Being selfish, and self-centered are not the same. Selfish implies an exclusive focus on self that is denying of others needs or interests. Self-centered is about being clear and present within oneself. This is also denotes healthy boundaries, which enable us to have healthy relationships with others.

We are supposed to be centered in the self. It is the only way to remain present in our world. It is the only place we can truly interact from. So say it. Take it in, because it's a truth that will set you free. And if you are a bad parent, you can use all the help you can get.

In truth, we all represent each category of parenting, at different times. What differentiates good parenting from bad is desire to be our best, being aware and being present.

I know I'm going to receive many horrified responses from this. I'm not worried about it. Bring it on. I'm trying to open it for discussion. Just be aware that I will not tolerate excuses, only ownership. If all you have to bring to the table is self-pity, don't waste my time or yours. I don't want to hear "But I have 3 kids", "I'm going through a tough divorce", "I'm a single parent". These little denials are crushing our children and ripping apart the fabric of our society. They are really a way to deny full accountability. All of this is irrelevant to your ability to be your best, and the best parent that you can. If you come with anything that looks remotely like this, I will tear it to shreds. Then I will tell you that I love you and ask you for your truth.

I have no children of my own, and can only bear witness what it is like learning to raise myself. This also gives me a unique perspective on it. I have great compassion for all of us trying to better ourselves. But I can only do it for myself. I think it's time to look at where we all fall on the grand scale of parenting both ourselves and our children.

Our world depends on it.

2009-01-10T19:24:00.001-05:00

Dollhouse, the new Joss Whedon series, begins February 13 at 9pm.

The Gift

2008-12-17T09:52:00.005-05:00

Photo from http://blog.sacredearthsevenelement.com/

A precious gift kept inside, tucked away safe from prying eyes. Our heart's desire lies within, waiting for us to open to it.

The Solstice gifts are many; light returns, the dreamer awakes, the spark is created,the seedlings are planted.

Through this turning of the wheel, we will sleep, and create, and nurture. Tonight we open our hearts to the dream within. We have come here to recognize in ourselves and one another, the desire that birthed us into this world.

Together, we build the circle of love necessary to bring a heart's desire to fruition. Each heart in unison, in service; to ourselves and to one another.

So tell me, what does the chamber of your heartspace ask of you? What are you willing to reveal? What gift do you carry? And most importantly, are you ready to unwrap it?

Entering the Heartspace

2008-12-16T21:57:00.001-05:00

I spent some time this morning looking at some of my old notes from 2006 to the present, and reviewing some written information I'd received earlier this year from Nigel Taylor, Elizabeth Frediani, Tom Cowan, and Victoria Pendragon.

And today, I could see so clearly what I'd been circling around and yet still missing; all the truth lies in the heart. That's the heart-space, or heart-center...not the physical heart. So simple a place to be, and yet the space that scares us the most to enter and stay present within. It's the space where you can see whether or not you are coming from love, or from fear. Where faith, trust and 'the presence' are found.

Nigel Taylor speaks of a "closed loop" of the mind. Not just the mind, but of consciousness. And the way consciousness is bandied about by those on the path is still, ultimately, a product of the mind. There is an expectation of a critical mass of humanity, using new and exciting body/mind technologies, leaping to a new level of being by finding the courage and wisdom to overcome the problems we face. But can true solutions come from the same consciousness that produced them?

In the Dreamer's own words "It is not about changing the mind, it is about opening to love. There must be a discipline to rise above the mind and unleash the power of the heart through Pure Love."

In my work and my path, I have been brought to this point. Consciousness without a concurrent opening of the heart center is just another level of the mind. And there can be no true healing without being in a space of love.

The people who have come to recover this information and (re)teach it are all carrying the same message, regardless of race, religion, spirituality or belief system. This embodied wisdom has been lost within nearly every religion. Nigel Taylor is one of them. So is the Dalai Lama, though many of his followers are stuck within the trap of consciousness. Elizabeth Frediani has a book coming out next month, "Where Body Meets Soul", which contains simple exercises to assist you to find and be within the sacred heart center.

The ability to move beyond our stories and into the sacred heart center propels the awakened soul to become a shapeshifter of the Divine Mystery. To, in essence, become the God essence that we all search for. It is from this presence that we evoke love, peace, truth, compassion, and delve into the sacred recesses of ancient wisdom.

Insight and Revelation

2008-12-15T13:02:00.005-05:00

You are walking the walk. It just isn't a straight path. Our life challenges spiral back around again and again so we can face them from a slightly more conscious place each time.
--Deborah King

I often see you in my dreams...
the only reality in which you appear, now.
Again, early this morning, we were friends.

You and I, walking and talking,
arm in arm, whispering quietly,
privately, happily, confiding our secrets.

We strolled through town, at first in a big city,
then in a smaller one, unfamiliar to me.
Through a concrete gray landscape,
and then a quiet neighborhood.

You wanted a picture to remember me by,
knowing how I hate myself in photos.
You arranged for me to meet a tiny Samoan woman.
You were on one side, me on the other.
Then, a Chinese mother came forward,
and snapped the photo.
You'd tricked me!

I was wearing a beautiful, white flowing shirt...
one you'd picked out and gifted to me.
I told you I wanted to be in black, instead.

Then I saw a studio,
with a real photographer.
I explained my needing to look a certain way;
to appear just so.

I would give you my likeness,
but only in a certain way;
the way I was comfortable...
wearing my mask.

You stared at me blankly.
That was not what you wanted.
You wanted to see me,
warts and all.

It dawned on me just then...
I wanted to give you what you wanted.
In my desire to please you at that moment,
I was able to recognize my own foolish pride.

I watched you do your layouts,
and design work on the computer.
I sat with you, and asked you to help.
Could you assist me in posting a photo?

As I watched you work your magic,
it all became clear, suddenly.
It was time to reveal myself,
fully and without any mask, or make-up.

People have been fine with me as I am,
for the most part.
They do see me for who I am...in plain sight.
It was I that couldn't face myself.

I couldn't look at myself without cringing.
I judged myself unworthy, unlovable.
Not able to see a simple image of me,
unvarnished, without disguise.

So...now I get the picture.
I was so afraid to reveal myself, my likeness.
Terrified to relive my own harsh judgment.

But I'm ready now, to face the truth,
to be seen exactly as I am.
Whole, glowing, free.

Perhaps when we next meet,
unfettered and free,
full of the sweetness of life,
I will be flying.

Why I Love Joss Whedon

2008-12-01T17:03:00.002-05:00

http://www.motherjones.com/arts/qa/2008/11/media-jones-interview-inside-the-dollhouse.html

An interview by MoJo Blog where Joss discusses "womb envy", how he loves feminists and why he cleared his new series Dollhouse with the women from 'Equality Now'.

Joss Whedon is a man who 'gets' it. May there be hundreds of thousands more to follow!

A Graceful Tree Spirit

2008-11-27T11:17:00.003-05:00

Stop the usual end-of-the-administration rampant political cronyism. Sign the petition and help protect our planet- it's the only one we've got that's inhabitable.

http://action.lcv.org/campaign/november_bush/forward

Coming Home To My Heart

2008-11-17T10:15:00.004-05:00

It's hard for me to believe that it's been a month since I posted. There's been so much happening for me...preparation to move, expand, grow. Only a few weeks since I went away on retreat, and it feels like another lifetime.

Today brings a clarity and full embrace of who I am, and the path before me. In this life that I've chosen I'm a carrier of truth, a reader of patterns, an explorer of boundaries, a facilitator of healing, a proponent of light and love. In integrating this knowledge, I accept the responsibility and sacrifice (to make sacred) to allow spirit to move through me daily, unimpeded by fear, getting out of my own way when necessary without any fuss.

Is it possible? Of course. I've done it naturally for the past 2 weeks. Is it always that easy? Of course not. But now, I will cultivate patience, and allow my wide-open and compassionate heart to lead me through each day, each moment.

I feel profoundly grateful to be in this space, and to be able to love so well. I think I relearned about this at my retreat. Not just because I fell in love with someone else, but because I fell in love with myself first.

I now realize that there is no difference when you live fully within your heart. The heart center is the space where duality merges, where the lines between you and 'the other' melt away for a time. True merging happens when two whole selves come together for a time, embodying and creating the divine, unified aspect, and when separating again, leave the other stronger and more powerful from the experience. A wholeness carried from the very fabric of our inner being to completion in the outer world.

As my teacher Joe Klemas has told me many times, "Love is a decision." I understand that now.

So this day, I choose to love and serve to the best of my ability. I sit in profound gratitude for my life, and for the chance to create beauty and joy within this day, and within our world.

Many Blessings and Much Love,
Alyce

I'm Moving...

2008-10-16T13:04:00.002-04:00

This is my tarot pick for today after sending out an email to all my friends, clients and family about my upcoming move to Seattle, WA. http://www.lunaea.com/tarot/tarottour3/tour47.html

The Guardian of Fire

Truth-telling and politics

2008-10-16T11:28:00.003-04:00

..or should I say truth-stretching? Rachel Maddow justs calls it like she sees it... Governor Palin is a liar.

Disaster Capitalism

2008-10-10T17:10:00.003-04:00

We're living it now. How far will it go?

For more detailed information try these links:

Naomi Klein- Disaster Capitalism (8 min)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JG9CM_J00bw&NR=1

Naomi Wolf - Give Me Liberty (27 min)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XgkeTanCGI

Messages...

2008-10-09T13:29:00.005-04:00

Today, I'm listening to my own heartbeat; the sound of my blood and the DNA of my ancestors. I'm filled with both love and sadness...a perception of connectedness to all that is.

Open-hearted, I walk through the doorway of a new life. A faery doorway. One I'm unfamiliar with, but have longed for my entire life. I embrace the fear, and the joy that brings me to this place.

The only thing I can think to say in this moment is...

I love you.

The winking was just creepy, okay?

2008-10-03T12:17:00.002-04:00

Question- How do you know when Sarah Palin is lying?

Answer- Her lips are moving.

Paid for by Big Oil

2008-09-14T16:18:00.002-04:00

From the League of Conservation Voters...

And the Murdoch media stooges finally confront the liars...

2008-09-14T04:05:00.004-04:00

I can hardly believe it, but here's Chris Wallace on FOX News confronting Rick Davis with "vastly exaggerating" Sarah Palin's record as a 'reformer'. This is priceless.

Oh, and it was a beautiful day in the Philly neighborhood as the Obama/Biden supporters were out in full force, knocking on doors and carrying on conversations about real change.

Quiet the heart and look within...in memory of 9/11

2008-09-11T08:29:00.004-04:00

http://www.lunaea.com/tarot/

Save the Endangered Species Act!

2008-09-09T09:25:00.005-04:00

We have one week left. If you haven't made a public comment yet, please do it now. Apparently, plain emails are not being considered, just another way of limiting public input.

'Death by Definition' in the Huffington Post:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/george-lakoff/death-by-definition-save_b_124904.html

While our attention has been turned elsewhere, the Endangered Species Act, our major environmental protection legislation, is being gutted--now. Not by Congress. Not by the courts. Not even by Bush's executive orders. It is being destroyed by redefinition, by a series of linguistic tricks.

Thanks to George Lakoff. Here are some talking points from the article, and instructions on how to get your comments read:

Act Now!

Here are some Talking Points:

* You are against the proposed rule changes because they weaken the Endangered Species Act nearly to the point of nonexistence.

* Environmental systems mostly work by systemic causation, with many indirect causes, not by "essential causation." The change to "essential causation" opens the door to an indefinitely large number of projects that can jointly put endangered species in jeopardy.

* The change in "consultation" rules will de facto eliminate the gathering of information relevant to protecting species.

Here's how you get your comments read:

Go to www.regulations.gov and use the search terms: "50 CFR Part 402 proposed rule".

The proposed changes are in Document # E8 - 18938

To see the proposed changes, click on "View this document"

Click on "Send a comment or submission" to write your comment.

Arianna Huffington nails it...

2008-09-09T08:52:00.003-04:00

Excerpt from her column today on the Huffington Post:

Just look at the problem John McCain faced. George Bush has a disastrous record, and the country knows it. John McCain -- the current one, not the one who vanished eight years ago -- has no major disagreements with George Bush (and I'm sorry, wanting to fire Donald Rumsfeld a bit sooner doesn't qualify) and wants to continue his incredibly unpopular policies for another four years. The solution? Enter Sarah Palin, a Trojan Moose carrying four more years of disaster.

Read the full article here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/arianna-huffington/sarah-palin-a-trojan-moos_b_124867.html

2008-09-08T19:01:00.002-04:00

It was brought to my attention that some of you are having a difficult time finding the proper links to the Barack Obama website, in order to learn (or refresh yourself) on how he stands on the issues that are important to you.

I share your frustration after hearing negative attacks, and generally feeling bombarded with lies and obfuscation from not only his opponents, but by an internet frenzy of complete bullshit. Or maybe I should say mooseshit?

Anyway, here's the link:
http://www.barackobama.com/index.php

Caribou Barbie

2008-09-08T10:05:00.004-04:00

... [ READ THE FULL POST AT OTR » ]

Comes with everything you see here:

- Dead Caribou
- AK-47
- Snowmobile
- Sexy Librarian Glasses

[Also available: Alaska State Legislature Investigation Playset- includes subpoena for abuse of power, independent investigator and defense attorney. *additional lawyers sold separately*]

She even talks with such fun phrases like:

- "I'm a pitbull with lipstick!"
- "My family is off-limits!"
- "What is it the Vice President actually does?"

Palin's real 'choice' for special needs kids

2008-09-07T16:48:00.003-04:00

Just received this from my friend Elise who has a 13yr old daughter with Down's Syndrome.

During Governor Palin's first term in office, she slashed funding for schools/special needs programs. This is an example of some of the 'wasteful spending' she trimmed from the AK budget. Guess that may change now, but the best indicator of what someone will do in office is to look at what they've already done.

Palin: "To the families of special-needs children all across this country, I have a message: For years, you sought to make America a more welcoming place for your sons and daughters. I pledge to you that if we are elected, you will have a friend and advocate in the White House."

Sarah Palin might have changed her mind on this one recently. However, Palin actually slashed funding for schools for special needs kids by 62%.

Budgets: FY 2007 (pre-Palin), 2008, 2009 (all pdfs).

Sent to me by a friend today...

2008-09-07T16:45:00.002-04:00

Let the games begin...

2008-09-06T09:20:00.003-04:00

Troopergate? Not if the GOP can help it. A McCain ally seeks to derail the investigation of Sarah Palin by removing the Democrat in charge of the investigation, claiming it is being 'politicized.'

Uh, pardon me, but isn't this exactly the kind of abuse of power being investigated to begin with?

You just can't make this shit up.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/157439

Oh, the hypocrisy!

2008-09-04T14:13:00.002-04:00

Anyone else out there think it's a damn shame that it takes a comedian to point out the hypocrisy, forked tongues and double standards of the MSM talking heads and politicians? Are there any real journalists left out there? Watch Jon Stewart put Rove, O'Reilly statements to the test.

ONE Vote '08

2008-08-31T08:46:00.003-04:00

Look, we really can all get along...

ONE members have been trailing the presidential candidates asking them to go on the record with their plans to fight extreme poverty for more than a year. And it's paid off. You can see the plans each candidate submitted to ONE members back in December on our "On The Record" site.

Add your voice to the millions of Americans coming together to make fighting poverty core to this year's presidential election.

A Woman Without Compassion

2008-08-30T15:52:00.005-04:00

What a difference a day makes. It appears I wasn't the only one busy trying to put the word out about Gov. Sarah Palin. In 24 little hours, the picture that has emerged isn't pretty if you are a fan of women's rights, a believer in evolution, a defender of animal rights, or planetary resources. All these things, this web of life, our Mother Earth, my animistic philosophy, and social justice are the most important things to me.

I'm a member of at least 5 organizations that have contacted me with horrifying information that even I didn't find yesterday; NARAL, Planned Parenthood, NRDC, MoveOn.org, Defenders of Wildlife. I didn't put it together that Governor Palin was the one who reorganized the aerial killings of the wolves in AK. I can't comprehend how a woman could do that.

I'm truly stunned that anyone could claim to be a creationist, and not believe that the spirit of God dwells within every living creature and organism. Claim to believe in the right-to-life, except for a mother with a critical decision to make, her life or her baby's. A self-proclaimed feminist who is all for limiting a woman's right to plan (or not) to have a family. She's pro-life? Who's exactly?

She is exactly the type of woman I'm most frightened by...one who is completely run by ego and ambition, extreme enough to limit the rights of her own sex, even in cases of rape and incest. She wants to mandate compassion for others, while not actually having to go there herself. She is the embodiment of all the classic and colossal hypocrisy of the far-right extremists. What about the special needs child she had within the last year? Is she going to drag an infant around with her on the campaign trail? Is she really pro-life? Or just pro-Palin?

What this Presidential race is shaping up to be, for me, is a referendum on the truth of Oneness and compassion. Who will be able to find the openness and generosity of heart necessary to understand that each of us is inextricably connected to not only each other, but to the very Earth itself? Which mindset will stir the hearts and minds of America in November? Where will you put your energy (no pun intended)?

Can we really afford 4 more years?

Environmentally Conscious Voters, Beware

2008-08-29T13:05:00.011-04:00

Or should I say BE AWARE?

John McCain has officially picked his Vice Presidential running mate...it's the 'real' maverick and rising Republican star, Governor Sarah "drill in ANWR now" Palin. Her expertise is in communications and media. For utilities. She's savvy, and good at political and administrative maneuvering disguised within the persona of a rebel. Just like Senator McCain, the 'maverick' who voted with George Bush over 90% of the time.

I think we all need to pay attention to what our Senators and Representatives support and how they vote, not to what they say, and how they present themselves. Vote however you want, but vote on facts...how things are actually affecting you, as opposed to how you want them to be. Click on the link below to find the Senate "report card".
http://action.defenders.org/site/VoteCenter?JServSessionIdr012=5tax2nt8m3.app20a&congress=110&location=S&page=congScorecard

Since this is a long post, and some of you aren't readers, I'll post a video here that pretty much says it all. Apparently, world domination through the plundering of natural resources still ranks #1 on the Republican agenda. Here's the new poster girl, prior to her nomination.
http://www.cnbc.com/id/15840232?video=809906073

It's not surprising that the McCain Campaign chose a woman, though he personally seems to have little respect for women's choice when it comes to their own bodies and reproductive rights. He still needs to make a play for the disgruntled Hillary followers, after all.

As much as the Republicans have criticized Barack Obama's alleged lack of experience, you might not expect them to pick a 44 year old who's only experience in politics is as Mayor of Wasilla, AK, and has only held a top government office since 2006. Especially since she would be next in line for the Presidency should something happen to the old coot, er..ahem, Senator. Not what I would have expected from the 'old boys' network. Except for that pesky oil and gas thing.

Governor Palin truly believes that drilling in the ANWR would leave such a "small footprint", and that it's proven the "caribou thrive" even with all of the oil development.
http://www.votesmart.org/speech_detail.php?sc_id=383538&keyword=&phrase=&contain=

As a member of the Alaska Miners Association, the NRA, and the Alaska Resource Development Council, it's not surprising she's agreed with and supported a Supreme Court decision to review "tailing", (disposal of mine waste on sensitive land), and was thrilled with the their NRA-inspired interpretation of the Second Amendment. Anything that benefits the 'people' of Alaska (read; utilities and corporations).

She has fought strongly for compensation of residents and victims of the Exxon Valdez case, criticizing the plaintiff award reduction by the Supreme Court, and even going so far as to encourage Exxon Mobile to end the case after 19 years, and pay up now. Or maybe it was so that she could still hold her head up while advocating for Exxon Mobile to go ahead with their development of Alaska's North Slope natural oil and gas reserves?

Seems to me Governor Palin has been super helpful to the Bush administration's continued attempts at reissuing and overwriting Federal guidelines (including the Endangered Species Act) dealing with habitat protection, and the balance between the natural environment, native peoples, and oil and gas development. Like when she moved the Habitat Division from the Department of Natural Resources to the (toothless) Alaska Department of Fish and Game. From the press release:

Governor Sarah Palin today praised the work of state officials in completing the transition of the Habitat Division from the Department of Natural Resources (DNR) to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game (ADF&G). The move, initiated by Governor Palin earlier this year in Executive Order 114, reversed a decision by the prior administration. After extensive discussions with community leaders and after hearing the concerns of numerous Alaskans, the Governor decided that the division belonged in what had been its traditional home at ADF&G.

Earlier this month, she signed Administrative Order 242, directing the State Department of Natural Resources (no longer being burdened by the pesky Habitat office), and the Department of Revenue to work together to commercialize Alaska's North Slope natural gas.
http://www.scandoil.com/moxiebm2/gas/politics_and_policy_gas/alaska-north-slope-natural-gas-to-warm-fairbanks.shtml

This is from the press release:

Specifically, the Administrative Order instructs the two departments to provide specific kinds of support to those pursuing development of an economically and technically viable liquefied natural gas project. That support includes permitting coordination, fiscal and economic analysis, and facilitation of meetings with federal agencies.

No mention of any environmental impact analysis, or of the effects of drilling on the land owned by indigenous tribal Alaskans?

This might make more sense if there were enough undiscovered, recoverable oil and gas reserves in and around the ANWR, except that the US Geological Survey says there is only a limited amount; much less than what we have already developed and in reserve.
http://pubs.usgs.gov/fs/2005/3043/

On 7/14/08, Governor Palin announced sanctioned development in the Beaufort Sea and OCS (Outer Continental Shelf). This may result in a barely significant 5 million barrels of oil over the life of the project. This is where the beluga and bowhead whale live, and where the polar bears hunt. The indigenous Inupiat people spoke of their way of subsistence being disturbed, the circle or 'web' of life, their medicine and spirituality. That and the fact that there is no current technology in existence that can clean up an oil or toxic spill on broken ice. There is mention of this being included within the Marine Mammal Protection Act, gutted earlier by Secretary of the Interior Dirk Kempthorne. Here is a link to the results of an Environmental Impact Statement.
http://www.mms.gov/alaska/cproject/ArcticMultiSale/scoping_rpt.pdf

When the Congress went to recess without voting on this issue, Gov. Palin sued in US District court to have the polar bear's status as 'threatened' overturned. Let's not forget to mention that the decision by Secretary Kempthorne should have been 'endangered', and he straddled what he could. But why not throw yet another lawsuit out there to delay the process long enough for potential drilling to start? I mean that the NRDC, and Defenders of Wildlife have only limited, donor funding, whereas the government, well, need I say more? Can't someone from PETA get on this? Really, you guys could have a field day with this one!
http://www.votesmart.org/speech_detail.php?sc_id=399653&keyword=&phrase=&contain=

Or better yet, how about buying loyalty? Among the governor's most recent accomplishments was the State Legislature passing Senate Bill 4002. Using revenues generated from state resources to provide a one-time special payment of $1,200 to each eligible Alaskan, it returns part of a substantial budget surplus, provides energy relief and a rollback of gas taxes. How nice to be a state so rich in natural resources. How might this affect the decision of voters as they go to the polls in November?

So be aware. Be very aware. I'm invested in an open discussion and public debates about our energy policy, drilling, ANWR, animal rights, Native land rights, sovereignty, responsibility to future generations and to the Earth. I believe there is a responsible way to make it work. I take serious issue with political operatives on any level involved in subverting and circumventing the legal processes put in place to protect us from the short-sighted policies of the current demagogic Bush administration, and it's would-be Republican heirs.

Haven't we had enough lies already?

How Many of Me?

2008-08-29T09:57:00.000-04:00

This cute little thing was sent to me by my friend Judy. :)

HowManyOfMe.com

There are
33
people with my name in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

John McCain- Lies, deception and flip-flopping

2008-08-27T12:38:00.005-04:00

I've recently wondered whether John McCain has short-term memory loss, or that he's just forgotten his own positions, and how he's voted on most issues in the past. Hey, it's possible. He is 72.

This video on YouTube shows him on Meet the Press, 60 Minutes and MSNBC admitting that he is deliberately deceitful when it suits him, or whenever the current situation warrants it. Not very often you get an admitted, unapologetic and repetitive liar running for President (well, the admitted part, anyway) under the guise of being a 'straight talker'. It would be laughable if it weren't so disturbing and ignored in the MSM.

Women's Equality Day

2008-08-26T15:41:00.006-04:00

Or should I say inequality? How come there's not a Men's Equality Day? I mean, really, would we even need a Women's Equality Day if there was true equality between the sexes?

In any event, today we are celebrating the passage of the 19th Amendment, giving women the vote on this day in 1920. I'm thankful for the women (suffragists and suffragettes) who, 88 years ago fought hard and won the right for women to vote equally in the eyes of the law. Women like Alice Paul, Sara Bard Field, Ernestine Kettler, and many others went from tea rooms to prison in order to secure the equal right for women to vote. Read their stories here:
http://bancroft.berkeley.edu/ROHO/projects/suffragist

You can also watch the HBO version of their story, Iron Jawed Angels.
http://www.hbo.com/films/ironjawedangels/

I honor their sacrifice, and vow to continue to keep secure the rights of women in this century, despite obstacles and seriously misguided women like this former Hillary Clinton supporter.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/08/26/former-clinton-backer-wro_n_121429.html

Debra Bartoshevich, who is apparently clueless that John McCain doesn't recognize the same woman's right to choose that Hillary does, went from being a pledged democratic delegate to pariah in less than 24hrs. Way to go Deb!

Apparently she was confused by the 'mixed messages' (aka flip-flopping or outright deceit) of the McCain Campaign, who are pandering to prior Hillary backers with a wink and a nod about not overturning Roe v. Wade. Despite the fact that John McCain himself has publicly stated that he is (now) pro-life, and believes that life begins at conception.

This stance on the origin of life, in effect, completely denies any validity of a woman as a separate being, nurturing and hosting a growing child within her womb, seeing her only as some sort of controllable and unfortunately necessary, egg-producing incubator. Sound harsh? I don't think so. If life begins at conception, then the only role a woman has is in donating her egg. I wonder if McCain has seriously considered exactly what hard-line dogma he's buying into? I think this is a bit of projection on the part of the male run neo-con movement, and wanting to control the right to a woman continuing or not continuing a pregnancy after being raped, or if her life is in jeopardy negates the life of the very person necessary to birth a child in the first place. This kind of religion based, fanatical belief system is insulting and infuriating. All women should take notice and be aware that these attitudes become pervasive, and then become law.

Someone seriously needs to talk some sense into this Debra Bartoshevich, pronto, before she does something stupid, like vote against her own beliefs. Geez, what an idiot.

But I'm off topic myself now. Where was I? Before the right to decide whether or not you want to bring a child into the world, or whether doing so would be too great a risk to life and health? The right to vote.

Here's the statement that Barack Obama put out today. It's posted on his blog:
http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/hqblog
***************************************************
Sen. Obama issued a statement today honoring Women’s Equality Day...

Beginning with a meeting in Seneca Falls, New York in 1848, women organized themselves and worked to secure the right to vote so they could make their voices heard through the ballot box. On this day in 1920, the 19th Amendment passed and women could no longer be denied that right.

As we honor the heroic women who would not accept the world as it was, we are reminded that we hold the ability to remake the world as it should be. That belief drove women like Hillary Clinton and Speaker Pelosi to shatter myths and breakdown barriers. That belief drives me today as I think about the kind of world I want for my daughters and future generations.

Now, 88 years later, women's voices make up a majority of the electorate but women are still fighting for change - equal pay, affordable child care, sick days, retirement security, and the sort of programs that help women balance work life and home life- and as President, I will lead that fight.

The Perception Personality Image Test

2008-08-25T09:20:00.003-04:00

I thought this was pretty cool. I love taking personality tests, and this pretty much nailed it, for me...

Your result for The Perception Personality Image Test...

HBPS - The Optimist

Humanity, Background, Big Picture, and Shape

You perceive the world with particular attention to humanity. You focus on the hidden treasures of life (the background) and how that fits into the larger picture. You are also particularly drawn towards the shapes around you. Because of the value you place on humanity, you tend to seek out other people and get energized by being around others. You like to ponder ideas and imagine the many possibilities of your life without worrying about the details or specifics. You are in tune with all that is around you and understand your life as part of a larger whole. You prefer a structured environment within which to live and you like things to be predictable.

The Perception Personality Types:

Take The Perception Personality Image Test at HelloQuizzy

Listening in stillness

2008-08-18T13:09:00.005-04:00

Silence

http://www.lunaea.com/tarot/

Endangered Species Act Under Assault...

2008-08-16T09:50:00.006-04:00

...as well as any democratic rights we thought we still had.

In the next 6 months prior to Bush the younger exiting office, he and everyone in his cabinet are going to try to green-light long term goals and pet projects held dear to them, their contributors and supporters. Paying off favors in the last few months of office is traditional cronyism, and is a NON-PARTISAN activity. Every elected president does it. It's all politics and it is bullshit.

The Secretary of the Interior Dirk Kempthorne is particularly egregious in his complete and utter disregard for federal law, endangered species, flora, fauna and seemingly all of nature. He has previously used other administrative loopholes to attempt to exclude several species (think polar bears) from receiving any protections under the Endangered Species Act. When that failed, he broke the law and allowed the sale of drilling rights to oil and gas companies to proceed without oversight in a federally protected environment.

Environmental Agencies such as the NRDC, Biogems and The Center for Biological Diversity teamed up, pooled their limited, donation-based resources and won successful lawsuits and prevented this administration from trampling all over our federal laws. Of course, this hasn't stopped the ongoing attempts to weaken or overwrite the law, current regulations, limit public knowledge and any response time.

The end goal here is to exempt federal activities from any Congressional or independent oversight. Not much different from overwriting the NSA laws about spying and wire-tapping American taxpayers, or EPA laws on clean air and water, but I digress. Let's just say this won't come as a surprise to any thinking person in this country.

Now, since selling all of those illegal drilling rights in February, the pressure is on to find a way to either get the public on the side of the oil and gas companies, or to effectively 'overwrite' the federal protections by creating brand spanking new administrative regulations that, since they are not legislative in nature, won't need the approval of the Congress. It's an ingenious, if underhanded plan. (Cue the moustache twirling.)

And that got me thinking today...isn't it awfully convenient timing that the sale of these drilling rights was directly concurrent with the steep increase in gas prices, and a sudden push by the White House (and certain individuals in Congress) to drill for oil in ANWR? The place in and around where the spaces were sold and leased to the oil and gas companies? Why else would our administrative and congressional leaders be so absolutely sure that the price of gas would drop the moment offshore drilling begins, even though there is no realistic way that could actually happen?

I know some will not agree with me, and that's OK. If you believe that drilling is the answer to our energy crisis, then we can agree to disagree. I have no problem with putting it all on the table, and coming to a collective vote on an energy policy that holds our government accountable to public opinion. The whole point of environmental law is to protect the environment and to prevent any major changes without scientific and congressional oversight. Whatever your personal beliefs are, I think we can agree any new regulations are in need of independent scientific review.

What I want is to get people thinking, speaking, acting. Let's begin a discussion. Isn't our government supposed to weigh the benefits and drawbacks of the needs of big business, creation of new jobs, land rights, energy costs, cheap gas, clean air and water, the protection of endangered species before creating arrogant, dismissive and revisionist regulations that exclude any feedback from US citizens?

Send a letter to Kempthorne by clicking here.

Read below for content of letter received from the Center for Biological Diversity.

___________________________________

This week Dirk Kempthorne, secretary of the Interior, announced devastating changes to the Endangered Species Act, signaling the end of protection for thousands of imperiled species.

The Center for Biological Diversity is rallying an immense surge of opposition to prevent these changes from taking effect.
Tell Secretary Kempthorne what you think of his plans to pillage the Endangered Species Act.

Under the current regulations, federal agencies must consult with scientists at the Fish and Wildlife Service or the National Marine Fisheries Service to determine whether a project is likely to harm endangered species or habitat.

The new regulations would:
- Exempt thousands of federal activities from review under the Endangered Species Act;

- Eliminate checks and balances of independent oversight;

- Limit which effects can be considered harmful;

- Prevent consideration of a project's contribution to global warming;

- Set an inadequate 60-day deadline for wildlife experts to evaluate a project in the instances when they are invited to participate -- or else the project gets an automatic green light;

- Enable large-scale projects to go unreviewed by dividing them into hundreds of small projects.

In addition, last week Kempthorne and Bush tried to slip another proposed rule change under the radar that would limit protection of a species only to where it is currently found.

Under the current rule a species has protection in its entire historical range. However many endangered species have lost substantial portions of that range. For example; under the proposed changes, prior to being reintroduced, the California condor would only have been listed in zoos.

And, because these regulations are administrative and not legislative, they won't need the approval of Congress.

_________________________________

Boycotting the Beijing Olympics (alone, seemingly)

2008-08-15T12:04:00.005-04:00

It is apparently not as popular a stand as I'd hoped. And for whatever reason, most people just stare at me blankly when I relay this fact.

**(Except for my family, who not only didn't need to ask why, but willingly turned off the TV, changed the channel, or waited until I was asleep to watch. I sometimes forget what a great bunch of people they are.)**

Don't misunderstand; I don't bring it up. It is my standard response to the good-natured and excited chattering about the Olympics, the fan-fare and pageantry, the great feats and prowess of the athletes, etc.

My "that sounds lovely, but I'm not watching the Olympics this year" response is usually met with an uncomfortable and stony silence. No one has even dared to ask why, but I relay it anyway. I figure if I have to excuse myself from a conversation or a room where it's being shown, I might as well explain.

China is one of the scariest regimes in the world to me. Not because they are the worst, but because they are the most powerful and accepted despite their grave record of human and social injustice. Pun appropriate, but not intended.

The very hypocrisy of their hosting the Olympics, arguably the best collective effort of both dignity and humanity, is more than I can bear. They have a government that controls and micromanages the lives of everyone in the country. (Think forced abortions and population control). They control everything seen and heard within their demesne. They control the media, press, Internet...all communications are monitored. The poverty rate is staggering, despite their rising economy and having plenty of work. A country full of the working poor.

China is one of the biggest polluters on the planet. The air quality is beyond poor; they're having to monitor it daily during the Olympics to see if it is harmful to human life! Can you imagine?

There is video on YouTube of Chinese soldiers with sniper rifles randomly killing Tibetan monks during a mountain crossing. They have imprisoned and killed any activist opposed to them "moving" the residents along the Yangtze, anyone opposing the giant dam project that will alter the face of the land and sea, in addition to displacing hundreds of thousands of people from their ancestral homes.

China, along with their buddy Russia, has blocked nearly every resolution by the UN to assist in halting the genocide in the Sudan, and the murderous assaults of Mugabe's regime in Zimbabwe. They are also aiding this directly by sending arms to Mugabe's thugs. (Last I checked, no port in Africa would accept this shipment, so it eventually went back to China. It's only a matter of time before it gets through, though.)

There's just too much more to write here..it would take me hours.

Let's just say it's about unchecked power and greed, corruption and arrogance on a level that the US has no authority, little power and even less morally correct standing to even address. If we hadn't made such a mockery of our own Constitutional rights (goodbye habeus corpus and the Geneva Convention, hello congressionally sanctioned spying on Americans and torture of prisoners at Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay) then our President making a bold statement to the Chinese rulers about their deplorable human rights record may have meant more than just the empty and laughable gesture than it was.

So, it's not just about the Olympics, it's about human life, personal dignity, social justice and integrity. Every time I think about China, the faces of those affected by their evil (yes, I did just say that) deeds rise up in my vision.

And I just can't bring myself to watch it.

Oh, and one final thought-

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to go shopping and not buy something made in China?

________________________

"There is no salvation in becoming

adapted to a world which is crazy."

--Henry Miller

'Keeping It Rielle', or maybe not exactly

2008-08-15T11:48:00.003-04:00

Dowd: Keeping It Rielle

Maureen Dowd is whip-smart, perceptive, feisty, progressive and non-partisan. She's a fantastic writer, and tells it like it is. In this brief column, she skewers John Edwards, Bill Clinton, George W., and Eliot Spitzer, all within one tiny sentence.

She points out very effectively the masks politicians wear and the emerging shadow aspects that plague them in their quest to become famous, rich and powerful. In other words, to get elected, and stay popular.

She is my favorite writer and journalist at the moment, and I think I have a girl-crush on her. ;)

In case above link doesn't work:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/10/opinion/10dowd.html?ex=1234238400&en=9b7f748e1dbef0e6&ei=5087&excamp=NYT-E-I-NYT-E-AT-0813-L4&WT.mc_ev=click&WT.mc_id= NYT-E-I-NYT-E-AT-0813-L4

Co-existence with the Ego

2008-06-29T15:14:00.003-04:00

The Ego is not the enemy.

Yes, I did just say that. I know there are many Buddhists, Kabbalists, teachers, friends and others who will vigorously disagree with me. I'm OK with that.

What I understand, (and I can only speak for myself), is that there is no real enemy. The enemy is illusion. Projection. And if this is the way in which the religious and spiritual define ego, then I can agree only with that aspect.

I believe in love, in the totality of being, existing in the heartspace, being present in this moment. And in this moment, my ego is co-existing with my heart, and with the transcendent Self that I know to be one with all things.

This is a more comfortable, fluid relationship for me now, though it wasn't always so. My experience through most of my life was struggle, constant struggle. With knowledge, conflicting teachings, my feelings, my judgments. Always, when I reached a new level of consciousness, there was ego rearing it's ugly head.

Let me explain my understanding of ego as it stands at this moment; from my inner knowledge, my own experience, and from a position of equanimity.

Ego is the part of the human being that believes it runs the show. It does much of the time, in some with less conscious understanding and acceptance of it. Within my own being, it is often the part of me (small, personal 'me') I most wish not to accept. It is also the part that teaches me about my instincts, my judgments, and whether or not I am truly following a path of love and service. It shows me when I am and am not congruent if I will only listen to the monotonous hammering home of its "rightness"; to be willing to hear my entire truth, discerning it from amidst the lies and old, familiar patterns woven into it's clever soliloquy.

My wise teacher Victoria Pendragon once referred to the ego (paraphrased here) as 'the Idiot Self merged with your point of view, and what you perceive to be the story of your life so far.' She taught me that the Idiot self is useful, as it is connected to the body directly, and would instinctively move me out of the way of an oncoming bus or train, for that matter. It is a mode of behavior predicated by the survival instincts of the body reflected back to us linguistically through the Idiot Self in combination with everything that we know about ourselves and from the life we have experienced. She also helped me to understand the need to know the stories and patterns the ego holds in order to be able to shift them. And that while the ego cannot be destroyed, it can be housebroken.

For me then, it is part of the whole being, not a separate entity that can be, or should be, severed at will. It serves a purpose tied in with the survival of the physical body, and of the self-identity. I speak of the individual self that is a part of our humanity from the time of our birth to the time of our death. If we were only meant to be part of the collective, enlightened consciousness, why would we need to be born into a human body at all? This is not congruent with the idea of transcendence...to transcend the self, one must have a self to begin with.

Having a self, for me requires total passion and commitment; the full embrace of life itself. The ability to choose to live fully, in whatever way I choose. It is the ability to create choice by desire, and to follow one's own free will. The very act of being born into this life requires an opening of desire on a level that brings the heart achingly awake with the fullness of all the pain and pleasure contained within our universe.

I'm just beginning to understand the full integrity required of the self; the ability to accept and allow all parts of that self to emerge, free of judgment. The ego, in small part, allows for a fully defined and contained self. The clearer the perception of the boundaries of the small self, the more natural and spontaneous the flow between the self and the Self. To fully embrace the I AM, to be present in both the process of 'being' and transcending at the same time, I must allow all the parts of who I am to coexist.

Just as my energetic field and matrix is interwoven and connected to both the physical body, the 'heartspace' and the Earth itself, so is the ego process woven into the becoming self. Is it really transcendence to allow the mind and spirit to flow free of the body without ever integrating or embracing the human, emotional self? Or is that only escape?

My inner process moves much more easily if I can acknowledge all that the ego is; it's wants, needs, prejudices, passions, etc, while still exercising my own considered and loving choices. I find the time when the pull of the ego is strongest, is when it is the most denigrated. The ego, for me, only grew stronger in opposition. I awoke one night with a clear thought in the middle of egoic turmoil..."and which part of you is engaging in this battle with ego, if not the ego itself, in a cleverly duplicitous way, maintaining it's hold on the psyche?" So the destruction of ego no longer makes sense to me. It sets up a lack of trust in my integrated wholeness, an internal and unnecessary battleground which obscures the inner clarion call of my soul.

To declare anything the enemy, by the very definition of the word, it becomes an adversary or opponent. And in the words of sci-fi fantasy writer Ursula Le Guin "To oppose something is to maintain it." (Thanks to my anonymous poster for reminding me of that.)

If I am lucky enough to live a long life, I will gratefully explore the nature of being a distinct and separate individual, while also an integrated part of everything that is. With no separation by belief or by being. The ability to navigate between the seen and unseen worlds requires an effortless flow between the inner landscape and the outer world. A completely integrated and actualized self, with the ability of all humans to transcend to a state of grace, and return again to the pleasures of the denser, more physical energies.

And I'm really happy to 'be' here.

Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne is just another BushCo Crony

2008-06-15T09:10:00.004-04:00

Well, looks like the fallout is about to start.

Back in January and February while the polar bear was waiting for protection under the endangered species act, the government was illegally stalling and selling thousands of oil and gas leases in the very same habitat areas. But this is not news.

Fortunately, places like the Center for Biological Diversity, NRDC, and others banded together to sue the government to make it's formal declaration, which was legally enforced by a judge's decision sometime in May. Yes, MAY.

Then, another insult. The interior's decision was a status downgrade from the promised 'endangered' to 'threatened' in order not to have to deal legally with the issue of climate change as the cause for their continued slide into extinction. Nice.

Now we are onto the next phase, when the companies who bought the illegally sold drilling rights want to be getting about their business. Can't say I blame them. But in what progressive country, what reality do companies expect to be able to drill in environments where protected species live? In Bush Country, that's where.

There has been so much subterfuge, outright illegal acts, continuing flaunting of the law in order to get around controls put in place so that individual usage does not trump the greater good of the planet that it leaves one dizzy and breathless.

I've decided to post the story below from The Center for Biological Diversity, along with the link to the MSNBC story.

Like I said, this isn't really news, it's just another wake up call to those of us who think that the people we elect to uphold the laws of the land should do that, rather than treat them as if they were an inconvenience to industry development. There is usually an area of compromise between industry and conservation, and what usually results are environmental protection laws. To continually allow our leaders to disregard and abuse those laws will be to our great detriment in the decades that follow.

I, for one, am hoping for a bit more enlightened self-interest from our next elected governmental body. Someone who considers us as stewards of the Earth, not owners and exploiters. Our next president will appoint someone new to the post of Secretary of the Interior, and it can't come soon enough for me.

*********************************
Feds Give Oil Execs Blank Check, Center to Stop Payment

The Chukchi Sea -- home to most of the world's Pacific walruses and one of America's two polar bear populations -- is the least industrially developed portion of the U.S. Arctic. In February, however, while the Department of the Interior illegally delayed protecting the polar bear as a threatened species, it offered oil and gas leases on 30 million acres of the Chukchi Sea.
When Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne finally got around to protecting the polar bear last month, he sought to shield oil and gas drilling by illegally exempting polar bears from the Endangered Species Act's prohibition against killing and harassing imperiled species. He justified the decision by saying the bears would instead be protected by the Marine Mammal Protection Act. On Tuesday, however, he exempted polar bears (and walruses) in the Chukchi Sea from protection under the Marine Mammal Protection Act as well.

In addition to directly affecting polar bears, offshore oil operations will emit millions of tons of carbon dioxide, methane, and black carbon. And once the oil and gas are burned, they'll emit billions of tons of additional greenhouse gases.

The Center for Biological Diversity and Pacific Environment have formally notified the Department of the Interior that they'll sue to overturn the decisions and protect all polar bears in the Beaufort and Chukchi seas.
Read more about it at MSNBC.

What I AM, and what I am not

2008-06-08T03:27:00.007-04:00

What I am is a reader of patterns. A seer of patterns.

I recognize them not through sight, for I am not visual, but through site. I intuit them. I feel them. I locate them. I speak them. I move with them. I become one with them. I love them, forgive them, release them.

Simple, really. Beautiful and perfect in absolute simplicity.

It is what I do, but not who I am.

What I am not is a healer, though many people will tell you that I am. Many things have been healed in my presence; blood clots, TMJ, traumatic injury on many levels, kidney stones, ancestral disease (DNA linked illness), diseases of the spleen, gallbladder and liver, and many other things. I did not heal them, though I was present through the process. As a witness to healing through the divine love within all of us.

Many people wish to see me as a mystic. And maybe that is true for them. Some are surprised that I can see the patterns they hold so close to themselves, the things that they use to shape themselves and to cover up who they really are. Then they assign to me some sort of unwarranted and unnecessary status.

I find that most people prefer to give credit for their miracles to a source other than themselves; a God that exists somewhere outside of who they are. They can easily recognize divinity outside themselves, but not within. So they recognize their healing, but not that it came from within them. Most people do not long for or understand that sort of power, so they never discover it tucked away inside themselves. So they make me their healer. Their mystic. Their seer. Their God.

But that is not what I am, though I feel divinity in every fiber of my being. What I am is their mirror. Someone to hold love for them in a created, sacred space of caring until they can see the truth for themselves. Until they can come to love what they are, and who they are. A flawed and perfectly beautiful part of humanity.

So who I am changes based on how each individual person sees me. How I see myself, label myself changes constantly as well. But not what I am.

It is a never-ending quest to find oneself. As soon as I find who I am, it shifts. When I think I know who I am, it becomes something other. Who I think I am limits me, and who I am at any moment may do so as well. Who I am constricts me and my completely divine and limitless potential. And I become more aware of this as I recognize my own patterns.

Tonight, I released my fear. After years of looking for and chasing after the elusiveness of who I am, I have come to understand not who, but what I am.

What I AM is love. We are all love, and exist through love. That is the pattern at the root of everything that is, whatever you want to call it, or label it. It is universal and vast...ever changing and yet constant. It surrounds us and envelops us all of the time. It is omnipresent. It simply is.

And your very existence is the testament of that love. You are loved simply because you exist, and can be nothing but love.

Because of who I am, I now know what I am.

And today, in this moment, I am free.

Where I Long To Be...

2008-06-02T17:11:00.003-04:00

Cool and green, with soft mists that caress my face, the smell of damp, mossy earth.

The deep stillness within and without; the spirits of the trees dancing before me.

I seriously need a vacation. {sigh}

(Re)Discovering Who You Are

2008-04-23T09:25:00.005-04:00

But if you have our blood in your veins,
Then you will know us, know home, know who you are.
--excerpt from Ancestors, by Albannach

“I felt that beings were looking in upon me…
They seemed to be saying to each other about us,
‘Soon they will awaken; soon they will come to us again.’
…and I knew the Golden Age was all about me,
and it was we who had been blind to it, but that
it had never passed away from the world.”
--Irish mystic George Russell (A.E.), 1918

I'm beginning to be clear on many things about who I am, and how it all works for me. The above quotes are clues about who I am. A recognition of my energy, my ancestral connections, my awakening consciousness. I'm receiving my personal road-maps to consciousness. It's looking ever so much simpler now that I only have to listen to the inner voice.

Do you know who you are? OK, too difficult. Better to rephrase.

Do you think you know who you are? Yes, much easier.

This one requires a little more thought, less feeling. I bet we could all make a long list about this one. And I think that's a good start.

Making a list about all of the things we believe ourselves to be, our roles, our stories. Ostensibly, our belief systems. Write them all down, then we can get to work.

The first step in becoming conscious of who you really are is to look at how you identify yourself. The way you identify yourself is a mixed bag. Outside prompting from parents, teachers, role models. Roles you play in your life; parent, sibling, nurse, lover, architect. Personal and public. Your reactions to outside stimuli. Your judgments about yourself. And, of course, your inner promptings and emotions.

Each individual is a complex amalgam of these many identifiers. And those seem to shift generationally. But we are, of course, talking about you now. How does your own personal make-up look?

Take your list and as you read each entry, put an asterisk next to the ones that fill you with a sense of joy and happiness. Put a large check mark next to those that come from your inner promptings and emotions.

Surprised? I'm not.

Are tired of receiving mixed messages about how to find inner peace, or following to the letter the advice of the latest self-help book only to feel like a miserable failure when you, um, fail at it? Fed up with listening to the guru who can tell you how to create more prosperity and abundance in your life just by wishing it to be so? How much time, money and effort have you spent trying to change things about yourself, let go of your (insert word here) anger, fear, ego in order to truly be non-attached and end your suffering forever?

How, exactly can you ever expect to let go of something that you've never fully embraced? Something you don't entirely understand? How can anyone else give you a cookie-cutter version of awakening when it looks different for each being? Enlightenment is not one-size-fits-all, despite the hype.

But it isn't all that complicated. At least, it doesn't have to be.

First things first; get to know yourself. Most people are so caught up in their roles and stories about themselves that they never listen to themselves and what makes them happy. The things that make their soul sing. And by the time they realize that they are miserable and unhappy, they aren't sure where to turn. We could talk about anti-depressants, the divorce rate, porn, alcohol and recreational drugs, but these are all just distractions. This is about you, remember?

I don't claim to be able to 'fix' you. If you don't know who you are, how am I supposed to be able to figure it out, then correct what you deem to be 'wrong'? I don't think you need to be fixed. Or saved. I think you just need to be able to see yourself clearly, and maybe make a minor course adjustment if it takes you in an overall joyful and more connected direction.

But I think I can help, by sharing what I'm realizing along the way.

Learn who you think you are. Learn what roles you've elected to play in your life. Learn what your stories are; your operating principles. Learn where they come from; you or someone else. Figure out what doesn't serve you anymore. Embrace the emotions that come with these realizations, and express them in a way that is safe for you and safe for others. Forgive yourself. Release your old stories; from all levels of your being (mental emotional, spiritual, physical). Create a new story; one you wish to live, not one you can tolerate.

Yes, it really is that simple.

Each time we release an old 'story' about ourselves, it creates a space for something new and wonderful to take its place. A spaciousness that holds the potential for creation at a level on par with the energy you've just released.

This is only a road-map; I don't promise there won't be any bumps, or boulders blocking the path. But I can promise that if you do come across obstacles, that only you have the power to move them, because you are the only person with the authority to have allowed them to arise in the first place. This part is about 100% accountability for everything that happens in your life. Maybe that's the simple-but not-so-easy part.

We all need help with this. We need to have an objective observer, and a loving observer in order to be able to witness ourselves, and have someone hold us accountable while holding the vision of us as a beautiful human being. We must be congruent with ourselves, and accepting of what is. Only then can we allow anything that is inauthentic to fall away.

And one last thing; unhappiness is inauthentic to who you really are. And when you find out who that is, you will know this as well.

Good luck on your journey; the road home to yourSelf.

Beannachtai go leir (Blessings to All)

I Send You Love.

The Art and Practice of Compassion

2008-04-18T08:58:00.002-04:00

For me, it always arrives with the dawn.
Awakening. Clarity. Inspiration. Knowing.
Synthesis and integration.

This morning, and for the last several days, it comes every day. That hasn't happened before. That's new. Just like I feel right now.

Not that I'm new. I'm exactly who I always was. It's my perception of self that has shifted. My feelings about who that person is that is 'me'. And all the parts; the deep stillness of my soul, the love in my awakened heart, the gunk in my belly, the delicate violet energy of my vibrational matrix, the tears that flow from the eyes that see too much, the mouth that often speaks too quickly and the mind that can sometimes be too harsh and judgmental.

I am all of these things, and have been very attached to them, holding them in a negative view for far too long. I've realized that until I truly accepted my own energy, my own path, my own belief and attachments, that there was no hope of ever letting any of it 'go'.

To believe that all of this has happened since Sunday seems a little far fetched. Maybe I should say the integration and understanding has come each day. A gift from each new morning that is allowing the reality of my truth to emerge, and for wisdom to arise within it.

I'm rambling, I know. Maybe I should backtrack to Sunday, and my experience with the GrandMother Drum. The drum itself awakened something in me, and my meeting with Tymoreye
http://www.tymoreyeelliot.com/ allowed me to not only see myself in a new light, but to view my light from the outside. I saw through her spirit what I looked like as a being of light energy. Levels of clarity and density. She spoke to me of things that I'd always known, but couldn't quite wrap my mind around before.

She had the clearest energy of anyone I'd ever met. High, clear and grounded from traveling with that drum for so long. Her gift allowed me to not only remember who I was, where I'd come from and who my spiritual family was, but to experience it in a way that was undeniable and true. I saw myself as a truly beautiful soul.

So what I've learned is that all of my trying to let go of things was premature. How can you let go of something you never fully embraced? Not accepting and embracing who I am was the only thing preventing me from releasing the ego. The attachment. Not that I didn't have an awareness of it, just that I was never able to synthesize the wisdom from that knowledge. Seems so simple now.

To let go of 'attachment', first you must feel. Swim in the muck and mire, the beauty and density of who we are in this world. Embracing who you are, and who you seem to be allows the freedom to be fully present in the moment. The only place there is stillness, awareness, joy.

Each morning, I receive wisdom now. Clearly and as an offering. I'm being taught to do healing work on a level I'd never thought was possible before. I'm excited and know there is much to learn. I feel that my energetic focus has shifted, from awareness towards integration. Each day, I let myself be where I am, and allow whatever arises to become fully present within my body and soul. Whatever doesn't serve can then fall away naturally, and with little effort. I've given up the need to struggle against myself or my nature any longer.

I'm finally learning how to be truly compassionate.

Remember, you cannot abandon
what you do not know.
To go beyond yourself, you must
know yourself.
--Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

"Bitter"-sweet

2008-04-13T00:28:00.005-04:00

I had a good laugh when I saw on CNN 'Headline News' last night that there was an uproar about Pennsylvanians being "bitter". Yeah, so? I live here, I see it all the time. I thought, is it different somewhere else?

I am posting a letter I wrote as a lifetime resident of the State of Pennsylvania on behalf of Senator Barack Obama. This video is his reply to the latest pathetic ploy by his (sorry ass) political rivals to pick apart the truth of his statements to attempt to make him look bad, rather than have to stand on their own political merit. His campaign wrote to me and asked if I, as a PA resident, could explain my frustration with Washington. I was only too happy to comply.

*******************************************
This latest nonsense, picking apart what Senator Obama said in a effort to create a "sound bite" which his unworthy presidential opponents then turn into a media feeding frenzy, is highly offensive to any cognizant individual living in the state of Pennsylvania.

I believe that his prompt and direct response gets to the heart of my frustration with Washington politics; most politicians are completely out of touch with the common people.

Senators Clinton and McCain are both so beholden to special interests that I would not trust them to make a decision in my best interest, or that of my fellow Pennsylvanians.

My laundry list of complaints begins with being a frustrated small business owner who finds the self-employment tax rate to be grossly unfair. Having to pay an outrageous amount for health care, which inexplicably rose by 48% this January, despite a climbing unemployment rate, 44 million uninsured Americans, and Independence Blue Cross banking a huge surplus in PA. Not one single politician in Washington has stood up to even regulate these maverick, out of control insurance companies, much less to advocate for single-payer health insurance.

The recent sub-prime mortgage/banking/financial industry fiasco (fraud on a scale we haven't seen in this country since the Savings and Loan scandal) proves that our elected officials have sold out their citizens to the highest bidder in order to line a campaign war chest, and insure their own financial interests now and in the future.

Senator McCain is a particularly egregious offender, as he was one who initially supported and sponsored the type of campaign finance reform that could have prevented some of this wretched excess. Any politician who accepts big money from special interests cannot be trusted to make policy based on the wants and needs of their constituents. This is not a theory, but has been proven over and over again by our supposed 'leaders' in the Congress and Senate. Corruption, greed, political and corporate elitism has eroded not only their values, but the entire middle class in this country.

I could go on about being the first generation of educated individuals having to move back in with our parents; an entire generation of Americans my age that can no longer find a decent job, afford to take out a business loan, pay off student loans, let alone own a home. For many of us, the 'American Dream' is dying.

But despite all this, I am voting for Senator Obama not because he is the only presidential candidate not beholden to special interests, though that is a huge consideration, but rather because he understands. He gets it. And in my estimation, there hasn't been anyone in the White House since I've been old enough to vote that I've been able to say that about. I believe Washington is broken, and in need of serious repair if our country is to survive and the average American to thrive. And you can't fix what you can't see, and don't understand. It's high time to change the old guard in Washington.

Senator Obama brings hope back to the political process for many younger people like myself; a belief that change is possible. I'm happy for the ability to vote for a nominee for president that is not the lesser of two evils, but a clear choice for change. A voice of integrity, clarity and honest discourse is what Barack Obama offers in this election, and is something desperately needed after the shocking level of deceit and stupidity of the current administration.

So, I live in Pennsylvania, I'm politically bitter, and I'll be voting for Senator Obama on April 22.

At Dawn

2008-04-09T14:32:00.004-04:00

I watched the mists arise this morning,
through a window that was not my own.
I believe it was they who woke me;
with their swirling energy.

Messages upon awakening,
dream fragments of love, fear and prophecy.
Pieces of the whole that come together;
shards of mirrored truth, a reflection of past deeds,
and visions of what is yet to come.

How can this be, when there is only present?
Forgiveness, repentance...what do these words mean?
Why is it I receive this; what good may come of seeing...
probability?

My heart is full...with a mixture of love and sadness.
Both in equal measure.
This is the way to true seeing,
the voice from the mist whispers.
I feel a swelling in my heart,
and feel the tears falling.

I know the truth of love, of my heart.
I wonder why it is I didn't see it before?
You refused, was the reply.
It is always your choice;
Love all, Serve All.

I make an agreement then;
I will do as you ask,
only show me the way.
I know the truth of love,
I renounce my pride, my ego.

Then I see; I SEE.

First I see what has been shown before:
The seas rising, the Goddess Venus.
New life arising.
Two native men;
two prophecies fulfilled.
December, 2008.

I see a pin drop, a 2000 year old seal broken.
An opening, an earth shift.
I was not aware of the timing;
now I know.
Lughnasadh? The solar eclipse?
No, the lunar eclipse...August, 2008.

I remember something...
The young man who lived off the land,
the one they believed (those who loved him,
but could not see) was crazy.
He gave himself not in sadness,
but in sacrifice;
sacred caring.
I see a ritual bathing prior to his passing.
What was his name?

Not important, is the reply.
The people who live on the edge speak the Truth;
for they have no false friends.
Prophecy and repentance.
A radical change in attitude,
a sharing of self with All.
To offer one's generation the possibility of forgiveness.

A baptism with water,
the clearing of the threshing floor,
the burning up of the chaff in sacred flame.
The new human spirit emerging-
Peace made with the ancestors,
father with child,
child with father.

I see the smaller connections,
and still I do not understand.
What is my role?

To be.
Love and serve.
Remember the old ways.
Look for the magic;
see with the eyes of a child.
Look for the entranceways to new being.
Marry the love and sorrow within.
Be One with every living thing.

I am here.
And I know surrender.

Dick Cheney- Warmonger extraordinaire

2008-03-31T12:37:00.003-04:00

I believe congratulations are in order.

Kudos to the only man on the planet who can inspire gunfire and multiple bombings less than 24 hours after his arrival in Iraq. Some people might think twice about traveling when they are aware of the violence they seem to inspire in the very wake of their existence, but not our VP.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/03/17/iraq/main3942256.shtml

If there were an award given to a person who darkness follows like a thick shroud of secrecy veiling motives and actions both, it's obvious recipient would be Dick Cheney. Let's call it the Warmonger Extraordinaire.

I wondered what the 'Dark Lord' himself might be up to in Iraq. I was pretty certain it didn't involve diplomacy (what's that?), but had no idea exactly how many lives would be lost to suit the hidden agenda of the Halliburton hero. I didn't have long to wait.

Not one week after VP Cheney left Iraq, Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki (who had done almost less than nothing since he's been in office) ordered a crackdown on Basra's "criminal gangs", the militias that have run the south of Iraq since the war began. I don't know if you've been reading the papers, but it's not going so well.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/03/31/iraq/main3981072.shtml

Iraqi and American officials have hailed this move to "finally take on" the Shiite militias, many of which are, according to today's Philadelphia Inquirer "without question deep into oil smuggling, extortion, murder and robbery." They might also have added that the primary target of this mission was Muqtada al-Sadr's Mahdi Army (previously funded by US in order to maintain 'peace and stability' inside Iraq so that US forces could concentrate on putting down the Sunni insurgency 4 years ago).

Prime Minister al-Maliki has called them "outlaws" and "worse than al-Qaeda". This even though every attack against Iraqi and US forces in Iraq is nearly always attributed to al-Qaeda, especially in the last 6 months.

What they didn't mention was that al-Sadr's Mahdi Army feels it has been unfairly singled out, as they are the Shiite rivals to al-Maliki's own Islamic Shiite government forces(as well as better armed and trained military forces) and that they have huge popular support leading up to the provincial elections this fall. Needless to say, they are very anti-American, and against what they feel is continued unwanted US occupation of their country. They have called for a cease-fire and a 'standing-down' for now, but refuse to turn their weapons over to a government that will not commit to a date for US troop withdrawal, but only to "a state that can throw out the occupation."
http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/meast/03/29/iraq.main/

The facts of the ensuing week-long battle, (Iraqi forces assisted by American and British troops with air and ground support) show exactly how weak and incapable the Iraqi government forces are of protecting themselves against dissident militia forces within their own country. Which means we can't leave any time soon.

This also points out the effectiveness and support that al-Sadr's movement commands, that they are being targeted now only when the Sunni insurgency has been weakened sufficiently to assign troop support to Basra.

US officials fear things are not going as well as they had imagined. US military intelligence analysis found that the Iraqi forces control less than a quarter of the city, and have reported that at least 40 members of Iraq's national police have turned in their uniforms, kept their US issued weapons, and are now fighting for al-Sadr in Baghdad.

It also seems to me that there are yet other hidden agendas here that are not reported about, or even realized. That somehow we are also trying to play both ends against the middle...not just by switching support, sides, and money based on the ebb and flow of the insurgency and counter-insurgency in Iraq, but that the real motives are not even on the table. I keep looking around to see Karl Rove in the background, and instead only find the murky darkness of Dick Cheney.

The CNN story is the only one I've read that even mentions that Basra is not only Iraq's second largest city, but it's chief oil port. We cannot possibly control the oil flow in and out of Iraq if this port is held by al-Sadr and his militias. And I'm forced to wonder, was this one of the goals all along? Was this meant to be a large scale occupation (read: quagmire) from day one?

And if we can't get the oil out prior to this administration losing power, then making certain that we are once again embroiled in the internecine affairs of a divided Iraq will cement the flow of cash and support to energy giant Halliburton, and keep US troops locked in a deadly and unwinnable war. http://halliburtonwatch.org/

There is nothing clean about this war; no mission to be accomplished aside from the energy companies and the current administration's hidden agenda. No way to win, and no easy way out.

So, just for fun, let's review the statement by our government that the militias that we are trying to destroy are "without question deep into oil smuggling, extortion, murder and robbery." Now lets look at the mirror this presents to us.

Oil smuggling: something we are desperately trying to do, but have been prevented so far by armed militants. But you can still count it if you understand that the US is using Iraqi oil to fuel all it's vehicles, etc. But I'm sure we are keeping a close count on our usage.

Extortion: Well, it's not extortion, but bribery when you pay off certain people not to set off bombs, shoot at US troops, kill their own citizens or start a civil war.

Murder: Do we know how many dead-but-innocent Iraqi civilians there are? Has anyone assessed the 'collateral damage' yet?

Robbery: Other than the original loss of $9 billion taxpayer funded US dollars?

Is there is similar pattern here, or am I just crazy? How can we ever win a 'War on terror' that we promote on a daily basis?

Yes, as I see it, this special warmonger award has only one possible recipient; Dick Cheney. And I'm certain that, although not my personal belief, there is a special place in hell reserved for all murdering, torturing, conniving, thieving warmongers and their supporters.

Tibetan Protest-Day 7

2008-03-16T12:12:00.007-04:00

Well, the protest march from Dharamsala was officially off after only 12 miles when the Indian police arrested all the demonstrators.
http://abcnews.go.com/International/WireStory?id=4442505&page=2

There are apparently 350 other people walking from Northern India who say they will evade police and press on. I wish them hope, admire their courage, and will send them whatever energy is necessary to continue this peaceful protest to bring attention their plight. It seems this inexorable movement towards freedom is gaining momentum despite China's violent crackdown, the unintended complicity of the Indian government, the tacit acceptance of China's 'right' to hold the Olympic Games by the Dalai Lama, and the insipid and lukewarm response to it's citizens being murdered of the Tibetan government, and the Tibetan government-in-exile.

There is obviously wisdom in an exiled governing body distancing themselves from the events in Tibet; not wanting to be associated with the anger and violence perpetrated by some of the protesters there. Both the government and Dalai Lama are stated to have a very moderate (read:ineffective) approach. But where is the balance between the two sides?

If being 'moderate' means to make statements from afar while keeping the status quo, waiting for the international community to act (laughable if it weren't so pathetic), or for China to suddenly realize they are terrorist dictators who murder and torture their own people (will never happen) then please, call me a revolutionary.

Protesting is not meant to be negative or complaining. Pro means 'for', or in favor of. Test means 'to speak' or 'to testify'. So protest means 'to speak for'. I think of it as having the courage to stand and speak the truth, despite the consequences.

Today the Dalai Lama he has called on the international community to step in and investigate the reported deaths of hundreds (not the 10 officially reported by the Chinese Government) of people since the protests began on Monday.

An excerpt from the latest news today by the associated press:

Five groups that say they represent tens of thousands of exiled Tibetans are planning to march from India to Tibet ahead of the Beijing Olympics to protest against China's rule in Tibet.

The groups have said they would not seek approval from the Dalai Lama, who has a more moderate line and says he wants autonomy for Tibet, not outright independence.

On Saturday, the Dalai Lama's office said the spiritual leader had only asked non-governmental organizations to remind the international community, and the Chinese people, about Chinese repression in Tibet and urgency of the situation in the Himalayan region.
http://abcnews.go.com/Sports/wireStory?id=4412859

Perhaps the Tibetan Buddhist spiritual leader can find his way to a 'middle path'? Is it not preferable to take some action to stop the suffering of Tibet, rather than become complicit with the Chinese government in allowing the grave injustice of cultural genocide to be continually perpetrated while ineffectually calling on 'someone' outside of the situation to step in? Why NOT call for a boycott of the Olympic games? Especially if you're already being accused of it? What is gained by non-action in this situation?

I don't wish to judge; I just really don't understand.

Where is the Dalai Lama?

2008-03-15T07:43:00.004-04:00

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080315/ap_on_re_as/china_tibet

He's not here, though maybe his presence would bring the world's attention to this matter in a way that these brave young activists who very well may be walking to their death never could.
http://abcnews.go.com/International/story?id=4458675&page=1

100 activists led by Chime Youngdung began a 6 month, 1,500 mile walk from northern India all the way to the Tibetan border. They have been in exile in Dharamsala, and believe it is time to go home.

My prayers are with them. Maybe their spiritual leader will acknowledge their peaceful walking protest, and step forward to help them change the status quo the exiled goverment has lived with for the past 48 years.

Poisoning our Planet...

2008-03-09T14:37:00.004-04:00

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080309/ap_on_re_us/pharmawater_i

Or perhaps we should call it unintentional drug use?

I used to think using drugs to 'maintain' health was just a matter of personal choice until this story broke about the remnants of pharmaceutical drugs in our water supply. In our drinking water. Our already processed drinking water.

And not just one or two, but multiple combinations of drugs found in the drinking water supplies of all the major cities tested. Not limited to the US, but in cities all over the world.

This is absolutely frightening...and completely unacceptable.

Six years ago, I made a conscious decision to utilize alternative healing methods and treatments as a primary path of wellness, and western allopathic medicine secondarily. I have never regretted this decision, though I still get infuriated monthly when I have to pay a large insurance company the equivalent cost of a new luxury car payment each month for 'health care' I don't use, that doesn't recognize the therapies I do use as valid and covers none of my out-of-pocket expenses.

I do not take medications unless absolutely necessary. I have a disdain for the big pharmacos, and their quest to own the world through medicating the populace. With hundreds of billions of dollars in sales a year (2006 info) $196.2 billion in the US alone, it seems nearly everyone is living better through chemistry.
http://www.metrics2.com/blog/2007/02/06/global_pharmaceutical_sales_grew_5_to_386_billion.html

I don't choose to take pharmaceuticals, but it appears I get them in multiple doses daily when I bathe, eat or drink anything whether I want to or not. Heart medications, cholesterol lowering drugs, antibiotics, blood pressure meds, birth control, hormone replacement, antidepressants...you name it, we've got it in our groundwater.

The drugs that people electively choose to take are not completely absorbed by the body, and up to 10% can pass straight through into the water supply. Water processing treatment is NOT designed to remove these undesirable leftovers. There is also the un-elective use of steroids and antibiotics used on farm animals in order to bulk them up, and keep them 'healthy'. There were much higher levels of these drugs found downstream of large areas where animal waste is introduced into the groundwater.

Our government has responded with assurances that the water is safe, and these drugs are at minute levels.

Sure....right. I also believe that industries can always self-regulate for the betterment of mankind. And in Santa Claus, but I digress.

The real truth is, no one knows how this will affect us in the long or short term. Over time, even low doses of multiple meds can affect your immune system, kill fish, produce unforeseen changes in the sex of small animals, etc.

Before you go looking for some bottled water to drink, keep reading. Spring water comes from a ground source. Most bottled water is unfiltered, and is not usually purified. And get this...are you ready for the kicker? Even if it says it is purified, the industry is not regulated, and only reverse osmosis purification removes these drugs from water. They don't list how the water was purified on the label, you have to call the company for that.

Since I doubt I will be able to convince people that they don't need to take multiple drugs daily (especially over the protestations of the docs who've sold out to big pharma), I've decided to take matters into my own hands. Literally.

As a Reiki master, I was aware of the ability to send gratitude and energy into my food and drink. I think I just got lazy, thinking that organic food was OK, and that I really didn't have to go through that effort all the time. I was wrong!

There was a symbol I received four years ago in a journey. It was received from an ancestral force, and he explained that it was to transmute water. This symbol would allow the water to receive love energy, which raises the vibrational level of the water, and changes the very structure of the molecules. Dr Masaru Emoto has written multiple and timely books on the subject, so I won't go into it here.
http://www.amazon.com/Healing-Power-Water-Masaru-Emoto/dp/1401908764/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1205670347&sr=8-1

I've decide to utilize this symbol, and pass it on to anyone who might be interested. As we continue to poison our environment, and the waters of our planet, we will need to rely not only on technology, but on the very energy that is in and around us in order to flourish.

Many Blessings.

GrandMother Drum

2008-03-06T09:27:00.005-05:00

There will be a GrandMother Drum 'Prayerformance' in our area on Sun. April 13 from 10am-1pm.

The mission of the GrandMother Drum International Peace Project is to travel around the world as a symbol of the heartbeat of love that connects all nations and all races of the human family. From a vision of indigenous grandmothers and many hands of the multicultural Alaskan community, GrandMother Drum promotes peace and unity through the global language of music, dance, cultural and healings arts under the umbrella of the Whirling Rainbow Foundation. http://www.whirlingrainbow.com/

The largest drum of its kind in the world, the seven-foot diameter GrandMother Drum took over a year to construct, and has over 1500 strips of wood, two hundred crystals inlaid in its kettle base and is covered by one giant buffalo hide. All this combined produces a phenomenal sound that not only stirs the soul, but has a tremendous healing effect on the body.

GrandMother Drum is a living, beating symbol from the hearts of the grandmothers that we are all one people, that Mother Earth is our one country, that love is stronger than fear, and that peace and freedom are the birthrights of all humanity. The drum is the centerpiece of creating celebrations that honor the unique gifts and spiritual traditions of the diverse cultures of the human family with the theme: The Heartbeat of One Family, One Earth. The dynamic multicultural performances share an explosive mix of thundering primal rhythms, irresistible music and dance.

"When people of diverse cultures are beating together around a thundering seven-foot heartbeat, they get it," says drum keeper White Eagle, "They remember who they are and what is really important- caring, sharing and respecting one another. GrandMother Drum is electrifying-she is absolutely contagious!"

For tickets, contact www.SusanDuvalSeminars.com

The many faces of beauty...

2008-03-02T19:37:00.003-05:00

Women in Art

Thanks to Judy B. for passing this on.

Renewable Energy and Activism

2008-02-28T22:25:00.003-05:00

Thought some people might be interested in seeing a little Democracy at work.

US Rep. Allyson Schwartz has made it a point to keep in touch with people who spoke to her during her recent radio/online addresses and those who contact her office regularly to support (or complain about) renewable resources, conserving energy and reducing the effects of global warming.

Sometimes it's nice to be noticed for being a pain in the ass, Lol. ;)
_____________________________________________________
From: Congresswoman Allyson Schwartz Sent: Thursday, February 28, 2008 6:45:34 PMSubject: Renewable Energy and Energy Conservation Update

Website Biography Services News E-mail Allyson

February 28, 2008

Dear Ms. Walker,

I am writing to update you on my efforts to strengthen and expand tax incentives for renewable energy and energy efficiency. I was outraged that the price of oil shot past $100 per barrel last week and in response I called upon my colleagues to reduce America's dependence on imported oil.

At the end of last year, my colleagues and I passed landmark energy legislation to raise fuel efficiency standards for cars and trucks. Before the President signed it into law, the Senate removed a portion of that bill that I helped author. This proposal would have redirected $21.5 billion in oil and gas industry giveaways to clean, renewable, and American-made energy. I was extremely disappointed by this short-sighted action and I pledged to revisit the issue when Congress returned to work in 2008.

On Tuesday afternoon, I took action. I went before the powerful Rules Committee and demanded that they once again bring these tax incentives up for a vote in Congress. I argued that America is far too dependent on imported oil for us to continue down the same old path of energy production. I explained how I have heard from many of my constituents and how you are tired of paying $3 per gallon at the pump. I told them that our tax dollars would be better spent developing wind, solar, geothermal industries that reduce the carbon dioxide emissions that contribute to global warming and create new "green-collar" jobs.

As a result of my testimony, the Committee decided to bring the bill to the floor of the House of Representatives on the very next day. After an intense debate on the floor of the House of Representatives, our efforts to set a new direction for U.S. energy policy prevailed by a voted of 236 to 182 . I am thrilled that I help ed revive these tax incentives for clean energy and energy efficiency even though the Senate ha d nearly killed them last year. We will now turn our attention to building more support for this proposal so that the Senate will not be able to stop it this year.

Again, thank you for your continued interest in energy policy . To stay informed of my work, or to sign up for my e-mail newsletters, please visit my Web site at http://www.house.gov/schwartz.

Also, please do not hesitate to contact me again if I can help in any way.

Sincerely,

Congresswoman Allyson Schwartz

Contact Information
Washington Office 423 Cannon Office Building Washington, DC 20515 phone: 202/225-6111fax: 202/226-0611
Montgomery County Office 706 West Avenue Jenkintown, PA 19046 phone: 215/517-6572 fax: 215/517-6575
Philadelphia Office 7219 Frankford AvenuePhiladelphia, PA 19135phone: 215/335-3355 fax: 215/333-4508

The Spies Who Love You

2008-02-25T11:42:00.002-05:00

Animated short by Mark Fiore, cartoonist for social justice. His home page is amazing, too. Tired of just complaining? Click on the 'do something' link.

http://www.markfiore.com/spies_who_love_you_0

Music and Men in Kilts

2008-02-24T13:11:00.002-05:00

I went with my friend Aimee to the Scottish-Irish Music Festival at the Valley Forge Convention Center last Saturday night. Live music is a passion of mine, and in potent combination with men in kilts, we were drawn there by the very call of our ancestral bloodlines.

It was awesome!

Not just the music, but everything up to and including the hand-poured Guinness, traditional clothing, hand-crafted jewelry and the smokin' hot Connor MacCloud look-alike in the leather kilt. (We were treated to a 'Basic Instinct' type flash when asked if he'd gone 'regimental' or not. I happened to be at the exact wrong angle, but was assured quite definitely that uh, yes, in fact he had.) ;)

There were two great bands completely worth the price of admission. One a trio from Australia, Brother, complete with bag-pipes and didgeridoo. They classify themselves as an alternative/indie jam band. Their music is quite eclectic, sometimes funky, sometimes mellow, always layered and well, different. Listen for yourself. http://www.brothermusic.com/

The other band, the last one to play that evening, was a band from Scotland called Albannach. They left me speechless. And those who know me understand what a feat that is. ;)

It was one of the most incredible, tribal, blood pulsing, heart pounding experiences I've had in a long time! I don't know how their energy will translate to the CD I bought, but WOW! They walked by us on their way to the stage with the first traditional Great kilts I'd seen that evening; 8 yards of tartan plaid, carefully wrapped and proudly worn. My friend carefully dabbed the drool from the corner of my open mouth. They were quite a magnificent sight! They are strikingly primal; multiple drums, percussion, pipes and occasional vocals (low growls included). Listen here: http://www.albannachmusic.com/

We stayed till the end, and met some really great people. I'm going all three days next year. {grin}

For those of you who also love men in skirts, here's a link or two for your viewing pleasure:

Famous guys here-http://www.kiltmen.com/photogallery4.htm
David Ducovny and Kiefer Sutherland in plaid, Nathan Fillion and Vin Diesel in leather. Yum.

Regular guys here-http://www.kiltmen.com/photogallery2.htm

Oh, crap. I just realized I have a fetish. ;)

*Many thanks to Rhiona for the word on Albannach.

Being sick sucks...

2008-02-24T11:58:00.003-05:00

...especially when you have to cancel a first date for your favorite meal (brunch) with a great guy that you've been looking forward to all week.

Seriously crappy.

Contracted some kind of (what I can only term as 'evil') bug. I started out fighting, did all the vitamins/herbs/hot mineral baths/detoxifying treatments/hot tea/essential oils/soup/extra sleep/trying to finish up 'old' unfinished emotional business, but it crept up and grabbed me in my entirety today.

Ick.

Woke up with a fever, bloodshot, watery eyes, a completely clogged but draining on one side (wtf?) head, a lovely new cough and intestinal distress. And strangely, I'd been feeling better at work just yesterday. Go figure.

Today I gave in to the western medical approach, and took a self-made cocktail of ephedrine, guaifenesin and ibuprofen. I'm still quite dopey, but there is a new buzzing in my body, so I'm just trying to enjoy the high. {grin}

So since I'm now speeding my face off, I decided to update my blog with pleasant memories of the past week or so, and things I like.

If anyone out there has any other get-better-quick remedies, please feel free to pass them on. I can use the help today. ;)

Love to All.

Messages from 'The Universe'

2008-02-22T16:38:00.004-05:00

This is the coolest thing I get in my inbox. You can sign up at http://www.tut.com/.

It's a personal daily message from 'The Universe' and is either dead-on or absolutely hysterical. I can always use a laugh or smile in the a.m. :)

This is from the other day:

Every once in a while, with gaps in time that stretch for eons, someone like you comes along who instinctively trusts their inner senses more than their physical senses, the unseen more than the seen, and whose life-insights are so piercing that they unwittingly blow the entire model of spiritual evolution to smithereens.

"Gabriel, did you register Alyce Walker's epiphany yesterday? Raise expectations on all human beings another 72 gigatrons, and tell not a soul."

How do you do that?
The Universe

Thoughts become things... choose the good ones! ® ©

We keep things like this a secret, Alyce. Wouldn't fast track your popularity, you know?

Knowledge vs. Wisdom

2008-02-22T10:50:00.005-05:00

Some morning wisdom today, after a night spent in surrender to a high fever and eventual, prayerful (is that a word?) peace. I figured I'd share...

We are all connected; aspects of each other. Pieces of the same whole...ONE.

Each and every individual you encounter in your life is a mirror image of an aspect of self. Every single thing you see, know, experience, perceive and understand comes through your own particular filter, and shows you who you really are.

The amount of conflict or drama created in your life is directly proportional to the level at which you own or disown this perceived aspect of yourself.

This is not always easy to look at or sit with even if you understand and recognize what it is and where it comes from. Passing judgment on another person is ultimately a judgment you hold about yourself in some way. An unowned aspect of self, for sure, but I promise you, it's there. I'm better at recognizing these times in myself as I get older (and hopefully) wiser.

Last night it was about a woman that several men seemed to be gaga over. Very intelligent men. And I just didn't see it. She was very attractive, granted, but I saw her as fairly inane, lacking depth and intelligence, flirtatious in a particular way that pretends to be cutesy and feminine that many men seem to fall for. A bit of a floozy, quite frankly. A drinker and a 'good time' girl. Seemingly open for anything but grasping and desperate for attention at the core.

I found myself thinking "Well, three things I can tell you about her. She doesn't work for NASA, she's not a member of MENSA, and she's definitely not a blond." As soon as those thoughts formed in my head I realized I was jealous. Jealous...and petty! Not qualities I've ever associated with myself. And yet, there was the ugly truth of it.

I tried to move away from it, but there it was. An ugly judgment about...me. I thought, 'Where in my life am I this woman? What things have I done for that desperately needed and wanted male attention? Where and when was I a 'good time' girl?' And then I cried.

Anytime I get to that point, I know I've hit on a core inner Truth. Wow. I spent a good deal of my youth 'being' her. Not entirely, of course. I'm mentally gifted, and my hair is too dark to ever go blond. And I don't recall ever pretending to be stupid to get male attention...I'm too prideful for that. ;)

But all the rest, yep. Check.

So I looked at all of these things. I let them in. I felt her pain and her shame (which was my pain and shame, as well). Her wanting to be accepted and loved, ultimately. The way we all do. I thought about how to better utilize my energy for healing, support and service. I forgave myself. For everything, including the shame of the judgment. I embraced instead who I am. All the love and compassion I am capable of. And I gained new knowledge as a result.

And what is knowledge? I thought of the acquired philosophical knowledge I carried from the ancient Greeks (Plato, Aristotle, Socrates), and Stoicism (Marcus Aurelius). Socrates often argued that knowledge is not empirical, but that it comes from divine insight. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Platonic_Realism

This quote came from wikipedia, as well:

'According to Socrates, physical objects and physical events are "shadows" of their ideal or perfect forms, and exist only to the extent that they instantiate the perfect versions of themselves. Just as shadows are temporary, inconsequential epiphenomena produced by physical objects, physical objects are themselves fleeting phenomena caused by more substantial causes, the ideals of which they are mere instances.'

Plato himself wrote in his 'Theory of Forms' that the material world is not the real world, but only a shadow of it. He associates knowledge with the understanding of unchanging forms and their relationships to one another.

I first learned of the writings of Marcus Aurelius in my dreams. These writings inspired me and became the doorway to my first awakening. The Stoics believed that everything in the universe is cyclical. All becomes fire, consumes itself and recurs. Think of the phoenix, or the serpent swallowing it's own tail.
http://www.kirjasto.sci.fi/aurelius.htm

'Constantly regard the universe as one living being, having one substance and one soul; and observe how all things have reference to one perception, the perception of this one living being; and how all things act with one movement; and how all things are the cooperating causes of all things which exist; observe too the continuous spinning of the thread and the contexture of the web. (from The Meditations)'

I thought about my on-going work with the nature of Fire as an element; as a transmutational force. I thought about knowledge, understanding, forgiveness, service to all, our common roots (ancestral DNA), relationships, mirrors, Oneness. My fever this morning seemed the burning up of the ignorance of the mind. My emotional surrender allowed the distillation of this knowledge within the physical reality of my life as wisdom.

I know I can 'be' love. I know that I already am. I promise myself again today that I will be present and conscious to myself in all beings. That I will act in accordance with my conscience to create beauty, joy and love. That though judgment will always arise in this human condition, and is part of who I am, I also pledge to remain aware that it is a choice to project one's own ugliness or beauty onto others. Either way, it becomes an accepted reality; an objective truth. Which one do I want to be responsible for?

Today I choose beauty. And Wisdom. I'd like to leave you with a quote I received this morning between sleeping and waking.

In Love and Gratitude,
Alyce
___________________________________
'If knowledge is power, then wisdom is liberation.'

An Exploration of Suffering and Faith- part 2

2008-02-19T14:52:00.005-05:00

Just read an editorial that reads more like a book review about Jim Wallis, a crusader for social justice, author of "The Great Awakening", and a recent guest on Jon Stewart's The Daily Show.

You can read it here:
Chris Satullo: Religious Right gives way to a new prophet Philadelphia Inquirer 02/19/2008*

He talks about how the 'religious right' is divisive, self-righteous and all wrong about what Jesus says.

A man of faith, Wallis wants us to respond to poverty, genocide, an unjust war and global warming, by unsettling our lives, and getting out of our cocoons:

"You act your way into a new way of thinking, not think your way into a new way of acting.

I'm not sure that I'd agree with everything that he believes or says, but I have to say that the guy makes an awful lot of sense.

My favorite quote from the article...

"The two great hungers in our world today are the hunger for spirituality and the hunger for social justice. People don't want to go left or right; they want to go deeper."

An Exploration of Suffering and Faith

2008-02-19T12:30:00.008-05:00

Yesterday was a day that I was keenly aware of suffering. Grief. I spent several hours close to tears, eventually getting to a private space where I could allow myself to cry; to let the torrent of unexpressed emotion flow through my body in a wave of release.

I'm not sure exactly where it came from, or whom it belonged to. Very often when I'm in that completely vulnerable emotional state, I'm not at all sure whether it is mine, ancestral or more of a collective human experience of grief.

I spent a good bit of time in prayer yesterday, letting go of anything I was 'holding' onto, surrendering to a process I could not rationally explain. I realized after some time that while I had no personal attachment to it, it would not stop on its own. That it needed to be physically released and expressed. During times like these when I need help, comfort and support, I have learned to call on the Mother, in any and all of her many guises and forms. I felt Her loving presence immediately. This time her form was that of Mother Amma.

I monitored my mind, body and emotions. There was no core connection within my body, though while I was crying my lungs felt quite full and heavy. I wheezed for an hour before it completely resolved itself.

"This is not my grief," I thought.

"No?" asked the Mother. "Are you not One with everything? Do you not serve all, and love all?"

"Of course." I responded.

"Then this is your grief, child. Allow it. Carry it through for All who suffer. When One suffers, All suffer. Move it so that all might be liberated."

And so I did, with some help from Mother Amma...and grace. Ultimate grace.

After I awoke from a long exhausted sleep, I searched for information on Srimad Sai Rajarajeshwari, or Mother Amma as she is more commonly known. The Hindu people of Mysore, India consider her not only a Saint or Holy woman, but the incarnation of Shakti, the Divine feminine creator (or create-tress) as a human woman. This site is completely dedicated to her: http://www.premahealing.com/1.html

I also found this quote that really resonated with me:

"Duty without love is deplorable; duty with love is desirable; love without duty is Divine."
Sri Sathya Sai Baba

I took this to mean that doing anything for duty's sake is empty. That dutiful action through being present is good, but that ultimate love, without having to feel 'duty' is truly Divine. And healing. Not just for oneself, but for everyone.

So a day that began in suffering ended with renewed faith and clarity. And peace.

Blessings and (Global) Love.
__________________________________________________

Suffering has a noble purpose: the evolution of consciousness and the burning up of ego. In the midst of conscious suffering, there is
transmutation. The fire of suffering becomes the light of consciousness.
--Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches.
If suffering alone taught, all the world would
be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering
must be added mourning, understanding,
patience, love, openness, and the willingness
to remain vulnerable.
--Anne Morrow Lindbergh,
author and pilot

McCain '08- Like Hope, But Different

2008-02-19T12:17:00.003-05:00

Thanks to my friend Diane for this one. I think we should just bill John McCain as the "anti-Obama". Like hope, but different.

Super Bowl 42 and Pluto in Capricorn

2008-02-04T11:35:00.000-05:00

I don't have to tell you I was pulling for the Giants. I always root for the underdog, it's just the kind of girl I am.

I'd predicted a close game, and was almost expecting an upset NY Giants win. Everyone thought I was nuts. I'm wishing I'd thought about placing a bet right about now! ;)

I told my Uncle before the game started that Pluto in Capricorn was about toppling the 'shadow' power structures that have been in place for so long. That now and for the next 15 years, the people in positions of influence and authority would have to be in integrity, and supporting the greater good.

The Patriots had cheated earlier in the year (against the other NY team) and though they received a minor fine and a slap on the wrist, it seemed they were about to capitalize on that by sailing easily to victory. I told him I had faith in the collective universal energies, and that with Pluto's current placement, that we'd get to see exactly how that might work itself into the picture.

You see, I had a dream in the wee hours Sunday about being in a large crowd watching the game on TV. There was a blond, curly haired prankster-type sitting and what I can only term as 'holding court' in the front. He seemed relaxed and animated at the same time. It seemed to everyone watching, including me, that he was going with the flow. But there was something different about him, very different. I spoke loudly from the back of the crowd "So, you're rooting for the Patriots, then?" He looked over at me with a wry smile and a twinkle in his eye which belied his very serious expression. "Not necessarily." I realized suddenly who he was...Fate. Then I woke up.

Eli Manning is a Capricorn. This site calls him 'destiny's child', and has some interesting predictions from the end of January about the Super Bowl. http://www.thestarofthemagi.com/sportsthestarsblog.htm

When things seemed hopeless during the game last night with a little over two minutes left, and the Giants struggling their way down the field, I wasn't nervous anymore. I watched calmly and with great joy as the winning touchdown pass sailed into the waiting arms of Plaxico Burress, standing alone in the end zone.

Suddenly I knew that things were going to change. Not just in football. But in our world. This is a new energy. This is a new time. The old structures that don't work for everyone will have to change. They will change, regardless of how much those with power and authority currently rail against it. Pluto is about bringing the shadow to light. Death and rebirth. Transformation...at all cost. The last time Pluto moved through Capricorn was during the lead up to the Revolutionary War.

I'm not advocating another revolutionary war; we've had enough war.
Just a revolution in thought, structure, stability and building a new consensus about how our government should work for all of us, not just a few.

Congratulations to the Giants, and their fans.

And welcome, Pluto, old friend.

The Nature of Sacrifice

2008-01-29T09:23:00.000-05:00

Nearly 3 years ago, prior to Hurricane Katrina, I began to receive messages, instruction, dream 'transmissions' regarding the nature of energy. How it is contained within nature. How it is transmitted. How it can be harvested, stored and accessed; utilized for protection, and for healing.

And about the nature of sacrifice.

At first these things seemed unrelated. And even though I was 'shown' how the act of sacrifice affected particular energy lines (literal and figurative), I was still not clear exactly what was considered a 'sacrifice'. Or that I wanted to know. Why was I being shown this?

The very word itself made me uncomfortable. I began to understand that it was the definition associated with the word that left me with this confused emotional discomfort.

This is taken directly from the Britannica Ready Reference:

sacrificen [ME, fr. OF, fr. L sacrificium, fr. sacr-, sacer + facere to make--more at do] (13c) 1: an act of offering to a deity something precious; esp: the killing of a victim on an altar 2: something offered in sacrifice 3 a: destruction or surrender ofsomething for the sake of something else b: something given up or lost. sacrifice vb -ficed ; -fic.ing vt (14c) 1: to offer as a sacrifice 2: to suffer loss of, give up, renounce, injure, or destroy esp. for an ideal, belief, or end 3: to sell at a loss ~ vi 1: to make or perform the rites of a sacrifice.

This didn't really engender much comfort or trust in my 'dreamtime' instruction. Suffering, loss, renunciation, offering to a deity. It seemed so last millennium. I thought about the story of Jesus. About terrorist attacks. How religious and political extremists believed they, too, were making a sacrifice, twisted and illogical though it might be to us. And about how this is usually done in the name of a deity. Not exactly something I wanted to look at.

Then I began to understand a bit more. I learned that the definition associated with a word was similar to an energy being placed on or associated with a symbol. That the word or symbol can evoke (or invoke) a particular energy, but it can also accumulate energy that becomes connected to it that has nothing at all to do with the origin or creation intent. It can become covered over with an energy that warps and obscures the very word/symbol itself.

I've been opened to learning over these past few years that the original idea and nature of sacrifice is intrinsically connected to love. Not as far from the idea of the resurrection story of the Christ as one might think, but before the myth itself was appropriated. Used by multiple religions in a quest for 'owning' the ultimate Truth about sacrifice. To be able to dictate how one should behave in order to be Christ-like. This in and of itself helped to obfuscate the meaning of the word. Through this knowledge, I realized that without the energy of love, true sacrifice is not possible.

And that was about it, until about two weeks ago. I'd been personally working with the elemental nature of fire, and it's transmutational properties. I received another message in the time between waking and sleep. I saw the word sacrifice spelled out in front of my closed eyes. And then it moved and shifted. The letters began to rearrange themselves... sacr..sacre..fire..care. Then it looked like this: sacred caring.

So simple, really, to take so long to understand fully. Sacrifice is not a thing, not a mental construct, not even an energy. It is the very intent that creates the energy. And behind that intent is love. This is where the idea comes from about sacrifice and miraculous healing. Lifting up a prayer, or raising your voice with open-hearted love in a state of complete selflessness allows one access to the Divine energy within and without. And moving out of the way allows this energy to manifest as ultimate healing. As Oneness.

I finally understood. I was being instructed to 'take back' the very word 'sacrifice'. Not as a noun, but as a verb. The original creation intent that has been lost within our culturally narrow definition.

So here is the recently defined version as I understand it at the present moment:

Sacrifice:
sacrificen [ME, fr. OF, fr. L sacrificium, fr. sacr-, sacer + facere to make--more at do] 1) To make holy, or sacred through an act of pure love. Sacred caring [the act and intent of] 2) in healing: the holding of a sacred space, a contained and witnessing presence within which a person might offer up something one is holding [something precious] in exchange for receiving the light of love and understanding.

I send this out into the ethers with love, light and many blessings.

The Dawning of Consciousness

2008-01-26T06:22:00.000-05:00

I feel as if I've just woken up. Which I guess is literal and figurative at this moment. ;)

I've been doing some internal integration work over the past two weeks, after a major letting go, and shift in my life.

During this time, I've had many insights...dreams...intuitions. Some that I 'get' on a conceptual level, and others that have brought the true light of understanding. I would like to share some of these things here, now, and over the next week leading up to Imbolc. It seems no coincidence that the dawning light of realization is concurrent with the approach of Brighid's Day.

Imbolc (associated with the Goddess Brighid) is a turning on the pagan 'Wheel of the Year' opposite Lammas or Lughnassadh (associated with the God Lugh). I would like to mention them both here, to bring a better understanding of the connection between our thoughts, bodies and this time of the year. Imbolc celebrates the waxing of the light, the first 'quickening' of the seeds within the Earth, and Lammas the feast time, or harvesting the abundance brought forth from the Earth. Last year I was honored to be at a community gathering for Lughnassadh with Tom Cowan http://www.riverdrum.com/ He called these two the "subtle" times, and that has stuck with me ever since.

During this "subtle" time is when we begin to notice it staying lighter a little longer each day, and I notice that each morning this 'light' brings it's own teaching.

Today it is this...

That the Dreamer is consciousness. But more than that, more than the mind (understanding and realization), it is the sacred truth of the oneness of love, the conscious heart at the center of this Oneness- born of the love of the Mother. That though there may appear to be multiple levels of this consciousness, there is only one. If there is perception and awareness within consciousness without the opening to love, that awareness becomes fragmented by ego (shadow) and separation is created.

For most of us, our personal reality is contained somewhere within this ego awareness, this separation. But many can also sense that there is something more contained within us, around us. This 'something more' is Oneness with the pure heart of consciousness, what Nigel Taylor http://nigeltaylor.com/ calls the "heartspace". And this "heartspace" is a state of being, not a state of awareness.

The other realization this morning? That we are all full of shit. {grin}

Have a lovely day.

The Metaphysician Test

2008-01-20T17:50:00.000-05:00

The Mystic

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/4455524558952165207/Metaphysician

This was pretty cool. I swiped it from my friend Diane.

Your Score: The Mystic
You scored 10 Materialism and 80 Phenomenology!

You're a mystic, someone who's experienced God but found out (S)He wasn't like in the brochure. You know first-hand what it's like to encounter the ineffable, but have a healthy distrust of organized religion, which you probably consider at best stufy and at worst an insult to true spiritual growth. If you aren't already, I'd recommend meditation exercises, or possibly yoga. One day, maybe you'll find Nirvana. Until then, just remember not to get lost in your own head!

Thinkers you may agree with: St. Therese of Avila, Hassan I Sabah, Bahya ben Asher.

Thinkers to challenge you: Richard Dawkins, Daniel Dennett, Sam Harris.

My Aura is Blue...

2008-01-14T16:32:00.000-05:00

Your Aura is Blue

Spiritual and calm, you tend to live a quiet but enriching life. You are very giving of yourself. And it's hard for you to let go of relationships. The purpose of your life: showing love to other people.

Famous blues include: Angelina Jolie, the Dali Lama, Oprah.

Careers for you to try: Psychic, Peace Corps Volunteer, Counselor

Strength and Equality

2008-01-11T15:49:00.000-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYaczoJMRhs

This is the most amazing speech I've heard in a very long time. It touched my heart, and runs about 8 minutes. If you have the time, please, do a great service to yourself and watch a man who is creatively working to bring balance to the feminine and masculine on this planet.

Many thanks to Joss Whedon for this heartfelt and eloquent speech for Equality Now. For honoring strong women, appreciating and loving his mother so much, and for delighting me year after year with his kick-ass, bad-ass and emotionally vulnerable (read:strong) female characters.

Thanks also to my friend Diane for posting this yesterday, and for being as huge a fan of his work (Buffy, Angel, Firefly, Serenity, and the upcoming Wonder Woman) as I am.

Thanks Joss, for getting it.

Healing Prayer to Brighid

2008-01-01T20:11:00.000-05:00

My friend Siobhan, who is helping me to do some deep (Northern Scots-Irish) ancestral clearing, sent this poem to me last night. It is so beautiful it made me cry.

Moving through this personal work, I understand better how the layers peel away over time, and that we can only do what we can till the next one is revealed. Ultimately, my struggle has been an intense fear of truly embracing my inner power due to deep soul/cellular memories of torture and death.

Last night as she held the flame and a prayer space for me, I lit my own Brighid candle...one she'd given me as a gift. I felt the divine presence of the Goddess with me throughout the night. Brighid spoke to me, comforted me, warmed me, held me. Just like a good mother would.

And I did a little light reading in between...;)

I wish for each of us this compassion and love to surround us as we continue to embrace the dark time until Brighid's day, four weeks from now.

Beannachtai go leir (blessings to all).

Healing Prayer to Brighid

I cry to the holiness of Brighid,
Fair and loving Goddess.
Who's face is beyond compare,
Who sweetly whispers in the ear.

I call onto the Fire Lady,
The Bright One shining true.
To set me at her burning forge,
And create me all a new.

I call onto the cunning wife,
Brighid's healing hands upon me.
Gently lead me through the flames,
Surround me in your light.

I call onto the Warrior, Breo-saighead,
With flaming arrows steadied.
To give me courage to face the foe,
And lead me through the dark.

I call unto the tender Brighid,
A Mother's child is in need.
Her arms embrace me,
Her fire heal me.

I cry onto the Holiness of Brighid,
Her hands above me,
Her hands below me,
Her hands surround me
Her healing fire within me
Her healing fire surrounds me
The healing of my soul,
The healing of my body,
The healing of the darkness,
The darkness into light,
The light of the flame,
The flame that brings healing,
The healing that brings wholeness,
The wholeness that is Brighid.

http://www.firesisle.com/forestwife.html

Mastering the Emotional Realm

2007-12-31T17:49:00.000-05:00

Compassion-King of Water

Tonight is New Year's Eve, for most of the world.

Most countries use the Gregorian Calendar, switched from the Roman Julian Calendar (first introduced by Julius Caesar in 46BC).

This night is about the passing on of the old year, and the celebration and b'ringing' in of the new. You can read about the calendar in surprising detail here at wikipedia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julian_calendar#From_Julian_to_Gregorian

In my world, it is the changing of the calendar year, and in the wee hours of this morning, marked by the changing of the ancestral guard.

These past few months have been a highly significant time for me, and this passage has been marked by emotional upheaval, and (unasked for) deep processing work. The story will not be recounted here today...it is still clearing itself from the ethers, disentangling itself from the stranglehold it had on my soul life and that of my lineage. I'm glad to be through with the recognition and bringing forth of it, truthfully. It's time to give it a rest, to let it detach, to reintegrate my heart and my soul with the Earth.

I will share what I learned today. That deep emotional work can leave you very ungrounded. With chaotic, racing thoughts. A disorganized, vulnerable mess. Even with help, I sometimes forget to put in place the things necessary for an easy transition back to the physical world. Things I always think I should know by now.

I'm thankful for the help of two very good friends, RhiONA and Siobhan, for keeping me sane the past few weeks. One a flame-keeper of the Goddess Brighid, who so lovingly assisted in opening the decidedly Irish gateway to my ancestral story. The other, my very astute mentor and teacher who said immediately, "You're not grounded, Alyce." She reminded me to breathe. First into the belly, then down into my feet. "Reconnect with Mother Earth, and your inner child. She's frantic right now." Well, of course she was, but I'd only just recognized it at that moment.

I used two homeopathic remedies, one for grief, and one for trauma. I used the Bach Flower Essence 'rescue remedy'. I went for a walk. I sat by my tree. Wrapped myself around it, actually, likely to the delight of my neighbors. I felt much better in a very short time.

What did I learn? That no matter how wise, how deep, how educated or prepared you might be, in the thick of the emotional work...you forget. And no matter how much you might want to process through the mind, it's not possible. We can only process emotional and spiritual work through the physical body.

We are not spirits, we are human. We can only reach our potential for enlightenment if we are fully embodied. We can clear our thoughts, and allow for mindfulness, but the mind can lie. It can be ruled and controlled by the ego. The body doesn't lie. It supports the will of spirit; it's primary job. That and keeping you upright. {smile}

Preparation for me next time will consist of all the things I needed today being lined up in front of me, or in my purse, with a list of reminders. Simple things like...don't forget to breathe!!!

Locating and clearing an ancestral story is no joke. It is always good if all of the parties are on board, which in my experience, doesn't always happen the way you'd like it to. Each person acts out a part, sometimes very unconsciously, and very painfully. You may become nearly paralyzed with fear before you begin your journey. None of this matters. You either do the work, or you let it move past you to the next generation of souls. The story will always come up to be cleared. It is entirely up to you how you decide to deal with the call when it comes.

I chose to move through the fear, call in the spirits, and do the 'Work' today. On other days, I might not have been as strong. But today, I decided that this was the last day this particular story was going to 'run' my life. So, it opened for me. I sat with my ancestor, and we cleared together a burden of abuse and trauma that had affected every generation of my lineage for the past 1400 years. Not that time is linear, but we do tend to think of it that way since time is a very human construct.

I've fully accepted the judgment of 'witch'. That's what they used to call women who were strongly infused with the energy of the Goddess. In order to move past it, you must embrace it.

I'm grateful today for the people in my life who embody love, wisdom, faith, trust, hope and compassion. I'm also grateful to those who have had to embody the less desirable qualities of emotional coldness, mental cruelty, being mind-centered rather than heart-centered, meanness, being rooted in the self rather than the Self.

I'm just glad to be here. To be clear.

I pulled a card from the Full Moon Tarot tonight to mark the passage of what I'd learned today. I was happy to see the Dalai Lama smiling back at me as the King Of Water...

Compassion
Before a tranquil sea at sunset, a wise teacher stands, his face serene, infinite understanding and compassion in his humor-filled eyes. Above his head floats a water lily, symbol of purity and serenity. He radiates calm and compassionate love, while his crossed arms show self-containment and discipline of the emotions. Awareness, control and peace are at his command, while his love and compassion are as deep as the dark sea. Let your heart open, says the King of Water... but do not let your emotions drown you. The way of wisdom is detachment...

I wish each and every one of you a Blessed, Joyful, Peaceful New Year!

Blessed Be!!!

Seeing with the Heart

2007-12-28T07:44:00.000-05:00

The heart is a strange and wondrous thing. It is the center of our being, the center of our universe, both inner and outer. No matter what happens to us, or how far we may try to move away from the pull of our heart, it will always bring us back.

When we become heart focused and centered, and make that a clear intention in our lives, we can experience an unparalleled opening of love and compassion. After that moment, it is always the heart that leads us.

This has led me to better understand the nature of heartbreak. Literally translated here as 'a break with the heart'. If one experiences fear, anger, pain, grief or suffering, this often occurs as an immediate response. A protective shell is erected to 'prevent' any further damage of this vital organ center.

And the mental chatter begins. The ego goes on to tell stories of what has happened before- "He always does this." "How could you let her say those things to you and get away with it?". And perhaps the ego also gets caught up in the struggle of being 'right'... the belief that one side of the story is more true than the other. Divisiveness. Heartless-ness.

The important thing to recall at these times is that pain separates us from not the truth of the situation, but the very Truth of our heart. We must allow ourselves to 'be' with whatever emotions arise so that we can find our way back to ourselves.

Often times, we choose to stay separated because we don't want to acknowledge what our heart is telling us; which is quite often vastly different from what our mind is saying. Some of us decide to stay in this allegedly 'safe' space for years, believing that will prevent us from being hurt again. This is the gravest Untruth of them all.

The heart is our connection to all that is, our center. It also provides the main rooting in our lives. Quite often people who are separated from their heart center have pain or illness, long or short term, that the body uses to ground them within the physical and emotional realm. In these cases, a heart opening is the only 'cure' that is needed. A loving, open-hearted person can provide the presence and space required in order for healing to occur.

When one is heart-focused, and doesn't move away from the discomfort of emotional trauma, we provide that healing space for ourselves. Becoming still within ourselves allows us to hear what our heart is telling us.

That we are love.

That is our very nature. We can try to obscure that with stories, pain, fear, etc. But once we are heart-centered, we can never move away from the truth of this. The heart will always lead us back to ourselves.

Today, I am seeing with my heart the truth of love. It is boundless, all encompassing. I am profoundly grateful. I AM LOVE. And so are we all.

Much Love and Many Blessings to all.

Opportunity

2007-12-26T10:54:00.000-05:00

Disappointment
5 of Water

Sometimes opportunity presents itself through limitation, perhaps a painful or challenging situation. Though we may feel disappointment that things didn't turn out the way we'd wished them to, it is always within our power to choose a different response to a tough situation.

The first step to doing this is to become aware of our response, and the underlying emotion behind it. Bringing your attention and awareness away from an outside event, and back to yourself, allows you to become fully present within the situation. When we are present focused, we become aware of how and what we are feeling; how our belief system has conditioned us to respond to particular stimuli.

For example, say you've just spent a loving, romantic and intense weekend with someone you adore. They tell you they love you, and are aware they want something more. Depending on what you want, and what your 'story' is will depend on how you respond. If you are feeling the same way, and are open to accepting that love in your life, you might be elated. If you, despite your feelings are not ready, you may feel sad or pressured. Your immediate response will always be based on your previous experiences. If you have a lack of trust within relationships, you may be triggered by this, and all the love in the world won't stop you from going into that emotional space of fear and disappointment. It is only the understanding and acceptance of what your story is that can free you from creating the exact situation you are trying so desperately to avoid.

In my life romantic life, I'm focused on 'being' love, and creating a lifetime partnership. I know, at 41, who'd have guessed it? ;)

But due to a recent situation (see above), I've had to look at my own 'story', and check in with myself about what the mirror is for me. This week I've used a wonderful program called SleepWork created by a dear teacher and mentor to me, Victoria Pendragon. This helps me to more objectively look at my emotional response and release or integrate the story around it.
http://www.izzness.com/bizzness.html

There are many way to do this, and tapping into the energy around us is always helpful in giving us an 'outside' perspective, while still honoring our inner knowing.

I often pull a tarot card to help me do that. My 'story' today is disappointment. Grief. The 5 of Cups. The wrapping of oneself up in sadness, and crying over the blood spilled and effort expended in the past, rather than looking at what has been gained, what remains and what is still to emerge. And once again, in her uncanny way, Lunaea Weatherstone has literally captured the situation and brought a reading to this card that is a perfect fit for me.

Disappointment- 5 of Water
http://www.lunaea.com/tarot/
An indulged and spoiled little princess sits beside a pool tossing her golden ball. Losing control of it, she watches helplessly as it flies out of reach and into the water. And the frog watches, knowing the whole story is about to change, for he is the Frog Prince, and the dropped ball is his ticket to bliss. Hers too, though she doesn't know it yet. All she feels is disappointment at the loss of her toy. Remember to look at the whole story, rather than getting caught in the loss of momentary happiness... there are things still to be revealed.

So...today I am recognizing that previous loss, and the limitation in one situation is also the bringer of opportunity in another. And in being present within this awareness, I will be open and clear to meet and accept that opportunity with an open heart and mind.

So bring it on. :)

Many Blessings to All.

Peace (and Joy)

2007-12-24T11:02:00.000-05:00

PEACE- The Guardian of Water

To all those who celebrate the birth of the Christ, Happy Christmas!

This eve reminds me of when I was a young girl, and would go to midnight mass with a neighbor's family, or with my Nanny (Dad's mother).

Attending church on Christmas Eve was always so peaceful and joyful for me (back before I understood all the divisiveness of

religious dogma!)

I know now that it was in that sacred space, singing carols and lighting candles, that I first felt the presence of the Divine. I felt a warm, open spaciousness in my heart and a lifting of my burdens. I knew that perfect love existed in that moment, no matter what else was happening in my life.

Today I awoke as I have for the past 13 days, grieving a lost love and friendship. But I realized today that as I awoke, I was taking on this grief. That in my sleep, my heart was clear, and that the emotion 'settled' in the heart area to be expressed. Which I did, with gratitude.

And I had an insight...this is temporary.

Not just the grief, but all of it. That our true state IS love. That open, peace-filled heart space is always there, and it is the only constant. Accessing that peace is the thing that can get us all through the more challenging times (and sometimes people) of this holiday season.

So...I decided to do a little pagan divination this morning, since I am reading a new book: 'The Jesus Mysteries- Was the "Original Jesus" A Pagan God?' by Timothy Freke & Peter Gandy. I say yes, but I am only on page 3 {grin}

I have a beautiful pagan, pop-culture oriented tarot deck called 'Full Moon Dreams' by Lunaea Weatherstone. I fell in love with it when I first saw it on-line, and I just had to have it!

Today, I went and chose a card from the Oracle on her website. Here is a link if you'd like to try it for yourself:

http://www.lunaea.com/tarot/choose.html

And with perfect and beautiful synchronicity, this is the card I chose:

Peace- Guardian of Water

http://www.lunaea.com/tarot/tarottour4/tour61.html

A swan sails serenely down the stream of emotion, feeling the cool gentle waters supporting her as she floats. And the Guardian of Water dances on the unruffled surface as well, as calm and poised as a water lily. His hands together over his heart in a gesture of protection, he symbolizes the peaceful spirit, one who is not dragged under by emotion's waves, but rather accepts each moment as perfect, letting feelings wash over him as easily as drops of water off a lily pad.
Breathe. Be at peace. All is well.

And so it is.

Wishing you a beautiful, peace-filled day.

Approaching the Solstice Celestial Alignment

2007-12-23T11:18:00.000-05:00

This link will take you to the 'Conscious Heart of the Heavens' by Anthony J. McGettigan. This is an amazing site! Great celestial photos interspersed with star wisdom, poetry and an understanding of one consciousness/one heart.

http://www.ncrising.com/2007_012_conscious_heart_of_heaven.html

From Dec 21-Dec 24, there is much intersecting of planetary bodies at the galactic center of our universe. The Sun, Mercury, Jupiter and Pluto are conjoined, as Pluto aligns with the Galactic Center for the first time in 250 years.

This explains a great deal to me about the last few days, LOL. ;)

The Full Moon today also conjuncts Mars (in Cancer). This is fascinating to me, since Mars is the ruler of Ares (the warrior, the masculine) and the Moon is all about the deepest recesses of emotion conjuncting within the sign of Cancer (ruled by the Moon and signifying the Mother, and the divine feminine). So what an opportune time to explore the wounding of the feminine within ourselves, and how we brutalize and manhandle ourselves with judgments. To see how this reflection manifests in our outside world. (See yesterday's blog entry for more info on how this is working me.)

There is also a star drawing of the Sun-Mars opposition tomorrow afternoon, forming a very cool looking pentagon.

So, me being me, I went and did a little 'Sacred Geometry' exploration, and found connections between DaVinci's drawing of man, the five-pointed star and the golden spiral. It seems that Ronald Holt has theoretically tied the 'Golden Mean Spiral' together on a mathematical and experiential level.
http://www.floweroflife.org/spiral01.htm

Apparently, it can be experienced on a non-intellectual human level as a profound feeling of love.

Isn't that awesome!

So, my advice is to take some time in the next few days to connect your heart to the holographic heart of the universe, and feel the 'Oneness'. Bear in mind that both Pluto and the Sun are involved, so it also is about bringing to light the parts of ourselves that we do not accept as this love. And integrating this understanding into not only our consciousness, but into the very humanness of our physical bodies.

For me, on a practical level, this is about cultivating an all embracing 'big (night) sky' and 'big love' attitude toward myself and everyone.

Many Blessings and Much Love to You All!

The Spark of the Winter Solstice

2007-12-22T07:56:00.000-05:00

This Winter Solstice morning when I awoke it was to gratitude, a renewed clarity of spirit, and a great love of myself as a woman. I've had some dawning realizations over the past week, and discovered a new level of appreciation for my life, love and who I truly am.

I dance on the edges of other people's truth. I blur the lines, and open spaces. I create doors, transmute energy and hold the energy of love within my presence for those who choose to walk through them. It is the path I walk in this lifetime.

That information came through me early this morning, carrying with it the promise of release, and forgiveness. A knowing that this is exactly what I am learning, and doing by being present in this moment.

I live my life at an emotional depth and intensity, and share a level of intimacy with the people closest to me that is just too uncomfortable for most people. A part of me has always known this, and up until today, I've held a judgment about myself in this regard.

This judgment has followed me through all of my relationships, and limited the intimacy level within them. I've worked a lot with the concept of 'not enough'. But on some level it didn't resonate. Today I learned why.

My fear, and the lie that it told was that I was 'too much'. The equally as damaging, but mirror issue. Neither is in balance as both exist within the fear of ego. Too much as in "You talk too much". "You are too angry, sexual, loud, deep, intellectual, strong, weak, masculine, fast, easy, headstrong, stupid (insert word of choice here.)" I was blown away. I've hidden within a shell of 'not enough', because I was 'too much'.

I've been working with the feminine energies, and in particular, with recognizing and honoring my inner divine feminine. So as this knowledge began to reveal itself this morning, I realized that this issue is tied to my own inner and the reflected outer judgment of the feminine principle.

I began to wonder how many of us, as women, have hidden ourselves away in order to make other people in our lives comfortable? Not revealed ourselves completely because of internalized judgments of a predominantly masculine society? How many female role models do we have that are celebrated for their masculine, rather than feminine qualities? How many female spiritual teachers?

This issue of 'not enough' is the masculine issue, and the mirror of 'too much' is the feminine. How could I have possibly hoped to deal with it by looking at the opposite, instead of looking at myself? How can any of us?

As a woman, I exist on a deeply grounded and rooted level in my life, and in my body. It would be almost impossible not to with the work that I do. I only enter into the more shallow places (by shallow, I mean penetrating only the things easily or quickly perceived) when I need to engage people at a level they feel more comfortable with, a place a little less intense than my norm. I find most people in everyday life exist and feel much more at ease interacting on this level.

What I connected with today, fortunately or unfortunately for me and women as a whole, is that this is not where we exist. This is not who we are. We are love, and that requires an engagement of energies not found on this surface level. This is what we have come to do. And it's we who must have the courage to bring this forth into our own lives, so that we can birth it back into this world that is sorely in need of it.

And that it starts within ourselves.

I started with the willingness to release any judgment I have about being 'too much', about being a woman of intense love, pleasure and joy. Today I celebrate the depths of my being, and my emergence as a powerful force of feminine energy. This is the spark that created the universe, and is what I am bringing forth into the darkness of this winter womb time.

In this time of deep dreaming, creation and planting the seeds of what is to emerge in the spring, I pour forth the waters of myself with new intention.

Today is the dawning of a new day for me. There is much joy in my soul, and I'm still learning to dance with it all.

Blessings of the Winter Solstice Be Upon You.

Awakening to the Beloved

2007-10-24T10:02:00.000-04:00

Who dares to disturb the slumbering dreamer?
I do.

As the Sun, my heart cries out;
"Awaken! Child of light, of sun. Release your love."

As the Moon, my soul cries out;
"Remember! Child of night, your connection with the Goddess, and who you truly are."

No matter. No thought. No time.
I have waited for aeons.
An eternity of days and nights.
Sleepless. Formless.
Nothing and Everything.

Love, Loved, Loving.

I awakened first to the beloved through a soul that touched the deepest recesses within.
The soul of a poet that called, and touched my own.
Profoundly. Simply.
A drumbeat that pulsed inside, calling.
I cried out in joy and remembrance!

but...

He did not see.
"You did not recognize the deep beauty of your own incandescent being!"
I did not see.

I grieved. Suffered. Died. Learned. Slept. Stirred. Arose again.

Loving, Loved, Love.

For the seeker, the beloved can only be found within.
Come inside. Feel the Joy. Be the Bliss!
Then, you will awaken to the Truth.

and...

"See what has been right in front of you, waiting for you to open!"
Love, Loving, Loved.

I AM the beloved.

The Eagles are a huge disappointment...

2007-10-01T00:36:00.000-04:00

...and they seriously suck. Last week's win was an aberration, a freak accident. Against Detroit. You know, the Detroit Lions...the worst team in the league.

After missing the first three weeks of football while in Australia, I was excited to be watching my first game, especially after I was informed by more than a few friends that we had somehow come out of our slump.

And even though I didn't really believe that completely, I was stupidly filled with the sickening hope and pre-game elation only a life-long Eagles fan can understand and appreciate. I now sit with the same crushing, gut-wrenching disappointment only an Eagles fan forced to watch their team put in the worst performance like, ever, can experience.

I instinctively knew this season would be the one that exposed Jeff Lurie and Andy Reid's money saving, rookie promoting, veteran cutting scheme to daylight, exposing all its inherent flaws in reasoning, and the morale crushing, non-team building truth that emerged quite clearly during the Terrell Owens debacle that all players are expendable.

Apparently, they are not.

McNabb has no weapons to throw to since we got rid of Donte Stallworth...and decided not to replace him with anyone...except Greg Lewis. Enough said. We are completely awful without Westbrook, the only person who seems to play offense on the Eagles (excepting the rare weeks when McNabb shows up ready to play football.) Our offensive line was, well, offensive. In every sense of the word. 12 sacks? Disgraceful.

Our defense is equally crappy without Trotter, and it certainly didn't help that Brian Dawkins and Lito Sheppard were out with injuries.

I think it was a good thing it was an away game, as if I were at the stadium, I would have demanded a full refund for all ticket holders owing to the complete lack of entertainment value, or actual playing of any football on the part of the team this week.

I say that in two weeks, after the next game we lose, we put in the rookie, Kolb. What do we have to lose? San Diego kept Phil Rivers, an amazingly talented QB on the bench for over 2 years. It doesn't seemed to have helped them, or him. At all. Then look at the Steelers. They put in rookie Big Ben without any NFL experience, and he took them to the Super Bowl. 'Nuff said there, too.

I don't want to become another disgruntled, grizzled, off-the-bandwagon Eagles fan. I say we support our team by running Reid, Lurie, and McNabb out of town on the next train, plane or automobile, and try to salvage the rest of the season, and lay the groundwork for next year.

Who's with me?

------------------------------------------------------------
Perseverance is a great element of success.
If you only knock long enough at the gate, you
are sure to wake up something or somebody.
--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow